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the number of hours per day on average that children spent watching television between 1950 and 2010

the number of hours per day on average that children spent watching television between 1950 and 2010 207M
The graph shows the number of hours per day on average that children spent watching television. The graph covers the period between 1950 and 2010. From 1950 to 1960, there was a modest rise in the average number of hours children spent in front of the television set. This was followed by a marked increase from approximately one hour to four hours of viewing per day among children between 1965 and 1982. Over the next five years, there was a decrease. However this trend proved negligible as the viewing figure then rose again marginally, and it reached a peak of over four hours in 1995. Between 1995 and 2010, there was another modest decline in the hours children spent watching television. Overall, it can be concluded that there has been a significant rise in television viewing over the sixty-year period, though there is some indication that this trend may be changing.
The graph
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shows
the number of
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hours
per day on average that
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children
spent watching television. The graph covers the period between 1950 and 2010.

From 1950 to 1960, there was a modest rise in the average number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spent in front of the television set. This
was followed
by a marked increase from approximately one
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hour
to four
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
of viewing per day among
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children
between 1965 and 1982. Over the
next
five years, there was a decrease.
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However
this trend proved negligible as the viewing figure then rose again
marginally
, and it reached a peak of over four
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hours
in 1995.

Between 1995 and 2010, there was another modest decline in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spent watching television.

Overall
, it can
be concluded
that there has been a significant rise in television viewing over the sixty-year period, though there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
indication that this trend may be changing.
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IELTS academic the number of hours per day on average that children spent watching television between 1950 and 2010

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
151 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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