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Proportion of British students at a University in UK

Proportion of British students at a University in UK PWe62
The pie charts provide information about the percentages of British students who were attending an English University in 2000 and 2010 and simultaneously were able to speak French, German, Spanish and one or two more other languages or no foreign languages. What is clear from the graph is that only for some tongues the percentages had remained unchanged or reduced moderately over the decade considered in the study. Conversely, for other languages, these figures doubled or increased only by a slight margin. Approximately one third of the attendees, in fact, spoke only Spanish (35% in 2010 against 30%in 2000) while only 10% of them were able to express their ideas in German. The same number was recorded in 2010 for French and represents a reduction of 5% compared to 2000. The increased percentage of students who learnt one or two more languages over this time is also 5%. On the whole, the proportion of students at British universities who had improved their speaking skills in one or more languages other than their mother tongue and French from 2000 to 2010 increased for some languages and remained the same for others.
The pie charts provide information about the percentages of British students who were attending an English University in 2000 and 2010 and
simultaneously
were able to speak French, German, Spanish and one or two more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
or no foreign languages.

What is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the graph is that
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only
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
tongues the percentages had remained unchanged or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
moderately
over the decade considered in the study.
Conversely
, for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
, these figures doubled or increased
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only
by a slight margin.

Approximately one third of the attendees, in fact, spoke
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
Spanish (35% in 2010 against 30%in 2000) while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
10% of them were able to express their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
in German. The same number
was recorded
in 2010 for French and represents a reduction of 5% compared to 2000. The increased percentage of students who
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt one
or two more
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languages
over this time is
also
5%.

On the whole
, the proportion of students at British universities who had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
their speaking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in one or more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
than their mother tongue and French from 2000 to 2010 increased for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
and remained the same for others.
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IELTS academic Proportion of British students at a University in UK

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
190 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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