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the number of consumption spreads

the number of consumption spreads L3Aln
The line graph shows the number of consumption spreads (Margarine, lowfat and Butter) which were consumed during 26 years. Overall, it is clear that, the amount of all kinds of spreads declined dramatically from 1981 to 2007. Interestingly, the amount of lowfat rose dramatically between 1996 and 2001 while the figure fell final 6 years. The amount of butter grew sharply from 140 to 160 grams whereas the figure was a moderate decrease to 100 grams in 1991 and Margarine declined from 90 to 80 grams, Then the figure overtook the former in the three seven years. Although letter rose, it unchanged by 100 grams next seven years. As a for, Butter stood at 50 grams in the final years and the amount of Butter and Margarine were almost the same grams. The amount of lowfat was the least result, however the figure showed a fast rise between 1996 and 2001. Eventhough lowfat rose quickly, in the final years, lowfat declined by 20 grams (from 80 to 60).
The line graph
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shows
the number of consumption spreads (Margarine,
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lowfat
and
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Butter)
which
were consumed
during 26 years.

Overall
, it is
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clear
that, the
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amount
of all kinds of spreads declined
dramatically
from 1981 to 2007.
Interestingly
, the
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amount
of
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lowfat
rose
dramatically
between 1996 and 2001 while the
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figure
fell final 6 years.

The
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amount
of
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butter
grew
sharply
from 140 to 160
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grams
whereas the
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figure
was a moderate decrease to 100
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grams
in 1991 and Margarine declined from 90 to 80
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grams
, Then the
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figure
overtook the former in the three seven years. Although letter rose,
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it
unchanged by 100
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grams
next
seven years. As a for,
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Butter
stood at 50
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grams
in the final years and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Butter
and Margarine were almost the same grams.

The
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amount
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
lowfat
was the least result,
however
the
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figure
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showed
a
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fast
rise between 1996 and 2001.
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Eventhough
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lowfat
rose
quickly
, in the final years,
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lowfat
declined by 20
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
(from 80 to 60).
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IELTS academic the number of consumption spreads

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
168 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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