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The maps give information about the comparison between Paradise island in the past and at the present

The maps give information about the comparison between Paradise island in the past and at the present PWkoK
The maps give information about the comparison between Paradise island in the past and at the present. Overall, it can clearly be seen that natural doesn’t have much construction. After that a lot of infrastructures are built to serve tourism. As can be seen from the map, in the past natural spring was located in the North East which was close the Rocks. In the middle of the island, there was the forest which was close the Scientific Research Station. Next to the Scientific Research Station was the pier which was located in the South West. The beach was located in the North West of the island. It is worth noticing that nowadays Scenic Lookout is near the Rocks. The forest is replaced by restaurant, BBQ Area and Cafe. The Scientific Research Station has been replaced by Hotel Complex and Swimming pool. The island is surrounded by the cycle path and connects all facilities. The Pier is expanded and has the Cruise ship. The beach is opened for tourists.
The maps give information about the comparison between
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Paradise island
in the past and at the present.

Overall
, it can
clearly
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that natural doesn’t have much construction.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
infrastructures
are built
to serve tourism.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the map, in the past natural spring
was located
in the North East which was close the Rocks. In the middle of the island, there was the forest which was close the Scientific Research Station.
Next
to the Scientific Research Station was the pier which
was located
in the South West. The beach
was located
in the North West of the island.

It is worth noticing that nowadays Scenic Lookout is near the Rocks. The forest
is replaced
by restaurant, BBQ Area and
'Cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
Cafe
. The Scientific Research Station has
been replaced
by Hotel Complex and Swimming pool.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
island
is surrounded
by the cycle path and connects all facilities.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
Pier
is expanded
and has the Cruise ship.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
beach
is opened
for tourists.

IELTS academic The maps give information about the comparison between Paradise island in the past and at the present

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
169 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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