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The maps below show the changes that have taken place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction in 1960.

The diagrams show Queen Mary Hospital at three different stages in its development: 1960, 1980 and 2000. In 1960, the hospital was built close to a main road and next to a shopping centre. A large area behind the hospital was turned into a car park, while the area behind the shopping centre was farmland. By 1980, the shopping centre had been demolished in order to make way for two additional hospital building which became a pharmacy and a cancer centre. Furthermore, the hospital gained the farmland and converted it into a nursing school. In 2000, the main hospital building remained unchanged but the cancer centre was extended to cover the entire nursing school. As a result of this, the original car park was divided into two so that it provided a smaller car park and a small nursing school. During this period, the hospital has increased in size and, in addition to a new nursing school, a cancer centre has been created and extended. Hence the capacity of the car park has been reduced by a half.
The diagrams
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show
Queen Mary
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Hospital
at three
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different
stages in its development: 1960, 1980 and 2000.

In 1960, the
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hospital
was built
close to a main road and
next
to a shopping
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centre
. A large area behind the
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hospital
was turned
into a
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car
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park
, while the area behind the shopping
Possible spelling mistake. ‘centre’ is British English.
centre
was farmland.

By 1980, the shopping
Possible spelling mistake. ‘centre’ is British English.
centre
had
been demolished
in order to
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make
way for two additional
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hospital
building which became a pharmacy and a cancer
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centre
.
Furthermore
, the
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hospital
gained the farmland and converted it into a nursing school.

In 2000, the main
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hospital
building remained
Use a comma before ‘but’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
unchanged
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but
the cancer
Possible spelling mistake. ‘centre’ is British English.
centre
was extended
to cover the entire nursing school.
As a result
of this, the original
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car
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park
was divided
into two
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so
that it provided a smaller
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car
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park
and a
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small
nursing school.

During this period, the
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hospital
has increased in size and,
in addition
to a new nursing school, a cancer
Possible spelling mistake. ‘centre’ is British English.
centre
has
been created
and extended.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
the capacity of the
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car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
by a half.

IELTS academic The maps below show the changes that have taken place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction in 1960.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
178 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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