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The map shows the development of island from 1995 to present

The map shows the development of island from 1995 to present BLoQ6
The pictures compare the changes taking place in the island from the year of 1995 to current days. Overall, it is evident form the comparison that the majority of development took place in the eastern side of the town and it is clear that town is modernized for better living standard of civilians. To begin with, in 1995, the island had farm land and forest park on the top right corner, which is now convented into golf course and tennis ground. Moreover, there was number of houses built in 1995. However, new days are constructed in present days. Furthermore, the hotel near to main road has remain intact and the carpark is introduce just beside the hotel. Apart from this, the shops in residental area are now converted into restaurant. Likewise, the fish market just beside the sea area is replaced  with apartments. Consequently, the fishing port is demolished due to water pollution.
The pictures compare the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
taking place
The usual preposition for "island" is "on" not "in". Revise: "on the island".
in the island
from the year of 1995 to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
days.

Overall
, it is evident form the comparison that the majority of development took place in the eastern side of the town and it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that town
is modernized
for better living standard of civilians.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, in 1995, the island had farm land and forest park
The usual prepositions to use with a corner "in" not "on". Did you mean "in the top right corner"?
on the top right corner
, which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
Possible spelling mistake found.
convented
into golf course and tennis ground.
Moreover
, there was number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
built in 1995.
However
, new days
are constructed
in present days.
Furthermore
, the hotel near to main road has
Use past participle here: "remained".
remain
intact and the
Possible spelling mistake found.
carpark
is
Consider using a past participle here: "introduced".
introduce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
beside the hotel.

Apart from this, the shops in
Possible spelling mistake found.
residental
area are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
converted into restaurant.
Likewise
, the fish market
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
beside the sea area
is replaced
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
with apartments.
Consequently
, the fishing port
is demolished
due to water pollution.

IELTS academic The map shows the development of island from 1995 to present

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
153 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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