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The map illustrates two proposed locations for a new supermarket for a town called Garlsdon.

The map illustrates two proposed locations for a new supermarket for a town called Garlsdon. lLE21
The map illustrates two proposed locations for a new supermarket for a town called Garlsdon. The first potential location (S1) is in the countryside of Garlsdon and hence could accommodate a lot of car parking, which is near the Hindon and situated in the northwest corner. Although this location would be ideal for Hindon's citizens go to shopping, the residents of Cransdon and Bransdon, which have a great more population would be far away from this supermarket and inconvenience to access. In contrast, the suggested site (S2) is located right in the heart of the town, which would be fairly convenient for local residents of Garlsdon. In theory, people from the surrounding town could also access the supermarket by either rail or main road, except for those who from Bransdon can only visit the supermarket through the main road, but it is also nearer than (S1) for Bransdon people. Although the town center is a no-traffic zone, car parking would be a major problem, I firmly believe that the investor would have a good solution to tackle this problem. Overall, each location has its own merits and demerits, but for shoppers in Hindon, Bransdon, and Cransdon the center site (S2) would probably offer more advantages.
The map illustrates two proposed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locations
for a new supermarket for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
called
Possible spelling mistake found.
Garlsdon
.

The
first
potential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
location
(S1) is in the countryside of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Garlsdon
and
hence
could accommodate
Possible agreement error. The noun car seems to be countable; consider using: "a lot of cars".
a lot of car
parking, which is near the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hindon
and situated in the northwest corner. Although this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
location
would be ideal for
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hindon
's citizens go to shopping, the residents of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Cransdon
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bransdon
, which have a great more population would be far away from this supermarket and inconvenience to access.

In contrast
, the suggested site (S2)
is located
right in the heart of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
, which would be
fairly
convenient for local residents of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Garlsdon
. In theory,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from the surrounding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
could
also
access the supermarket by either rail or main road,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
those who from
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bransdon
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
visit the supermarket through the main road,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
also
nearer than (S1) for
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bransdon
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
center is a no-traffic zone, car parking would be a major problem, I
firmly
believe that the investor would have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
solution to tackle this problem.

Overall
, each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
location
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
merits and demerits,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for shoppers in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hindon
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bransdon
, and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Cransdon
the center site (S2) would
probably
offer more advantages.
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IELTS academic The map illustrates two proposed locations for a new supermarket for a town called Garlsdon.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
205 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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