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The graph shows the comparison of the international rate and the proportion of British students who gained second class degrees or better at a major UK university

The graph shows the comparison of the international rate and the proportion of British students who gained second class degrees or better at a major UK university RRg7V
The graph shows the comparison of the international rate and the proportion of British students who gained second class degrees or better at a major UK university Overall; it's clear that the percentage of international students gaining degrees in information technology was the highest while the opposite was true for International law. In addition, nearly as many UK students got a second diploma in Art history as did sociology. As can be seen from the chart, there was a similarity between foreign and native students at a nursing course. Fewer British students than international students gained second-class degrees in electrical engineering, with 60% and 80°% in turn. Whereas foreign pupils got the highest diploma in information technology, native pupils had the lowest percentage of students getting degrees at this course. The English literature degrees were got by fewer international than the UK pupils. The figure for foreign and native students who gained art history and sociology had a difference while the percentage of UK pupils gaining that course was the highest, the proportion of international was lightly lower. The subject in which the lowest foreign students get a second class or better diploma was international law. Sixteen percent of students in both international and the UK gained second class degrees at accountancy.
The graph
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shows
the comparison of the
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international
rate and the proportion of British
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students
who
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gained
second
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
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degrees
or better at a major UK university

Overall
; it's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the percentage of
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international
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students
gaining
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degrees
in information technology was the highest while the opposite was true for
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International
law.
In addition
,
nearly
as
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many
UK
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students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a second diploma in Art history as did sociology.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the chart, there was a similarity between
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foreign
and native
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students
at a nursing course. Fewer British
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students
than
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international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
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gained
second-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
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degrees
in electrical engineering, with 60% and 80°% in turn. Whereas
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foreign
pupils
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the highest diploma in information technology, native pupils had the lowest percentage of
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students
getting
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degrees
at this course. The English literature
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degrees
were
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got
by fewer
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international
than the UK pupils.

The figure for
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foreign
and native
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students
who
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gained
art history and sociology had a difference while the percentage of UK pupils gaining that course was the highest, the proportion of
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international
was
lightly
lower.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
subject in which the lowest
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foreign
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students
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get
a second
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
or better diploma was
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international
law. Sixteen percent of
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students
in both
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international
and the UK
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gained
second
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degrees
at accountancy.
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IELTS academic The graph shows the comparison of the international rate and the proportion of British students who gained second class degrees or better at a major UK university

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
212 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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