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the map below the change of island after developing the tourism

the map below the change of island after developing the tourism AJDGX
A glance at he diagrams illustrate a number of changes which took place in a island thank to the advancement of tourism. The subsequent decades, the island which is an un-spoilt place was surrounded by the sea; with one to the north, the other at the bottom of island. The beach was located to the south-west. The most notable change was the construction a dual carriageway surrounding in the island. Based on the needed of the tourism, the accommodation was in close proximity to the reception which was constructed in the middle of the island. The restaurant was erected on the north of reception. these structure was connected by the footpath in order to enable tourists to commute to beach and sea. The sea which was located on the south of island was replaced by a pier which allow traveler to have more outdoor activities by boats.
A glance at he diagrams illustrate a number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
which took place in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
thank to the advancement of tourism.

The subsequent decades, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
which is an
Possible spelling mistake found.
un-spoilt
place
was surrounded
by the sea; with one to the north, the other at the bottom of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
. The beach
was located
to the south-west.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
most notable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
was the construction a dual carriageway surrounding in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
. Based on
The phrase 'the needed of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'the' and 'of'.
the needed of
the tourism, the accommodation was in
Consider using "proximity".
close proximity
to the reception which
was constructed
in the middle of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
. The restaurant
was erected
on the north of reception.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
these
structure
was connected
by the footpath in order to enable tourists to commute to beach and sea. The sea which
was located
on the south of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
was replaced
by a pier which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
traveler to have more outdoor activities by boats.
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IELTS academic the map below the change of island after developing the tourism

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
147 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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