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The line graph shows the proportion of school leavers from three schools in the same town who went on to higher or further education between 2008 and 2012.

The line graph shows the proportion of school leavers from three schools in the same town who went on to higher or further education between 2008 and 2012. ajrY
The line graph shows the proportion of school leavers from three schools in the same town who went on to higher or further education between 2008 and 2012. At the first glance, it is clear that the percentage of school leavers who entered to the higher or further education from Highfield Academy and Dovehouse School increased, whereas the percentage of Starmead College’s students decreased according to the beginning. All three schools began the period with different percentages. In 2008, the percentage of school leavers range between twenty and thirty five percent. It reached the peak at Dovehouse School with 35%, while the lowest point is at Highfield Academy with 20%. Also, Starmead College started with 30%. In 2010, there was a marked increase at both Dovehouse School and Highfield Academy. On the other hand, there was a plunge of 10% ar Stearmead College. Figures stagnated in the following year. Howewer, there were changes significantly in the final year. Figures continued increasing remarkably at Dovehouse School and Highfield Academy, while there was a negligible rise at Starmead College. At the end of the period, proportions increased almost 2. 5 times at both Dovehouse School and Highfield Academy. However, it dropped below 30% at Starmead College. To sum up, the line graph illustrates that the percentage of students who left school for higher or further education showed an overall increase between 2008 and 2012 except one school.
The line graph
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shows
the proportion of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
school leavers
from three
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schools
in the same town who went on to higher or
further
education between 2008 and 2012. At the
first
glance, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
school leavers
who entered to the higher or
further
education from
Possible spelling mistake found.
Highfield
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Academy
and
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Dovehouse
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School
increased, whereas the
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percentage
of
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Starmead
College’s students decreased according to the beginning.

All three
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schools
began the period with
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different
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percentages
. In 2008, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
school leavers
range between twenty and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
thirty five
percent. It reached the peak at
Possible spelling mistake found.
Dovehouse
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School
with 35%, while the lowest point is at
Possible spelling mistake found.
Highfield
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Academy
with 20%.
Also
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Starmead
College
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
with 30%. In 2010, there was a marked increase at both
Possible spelling mistake found.
Dovehouse
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School
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Highfield
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Academy
.
On the other hand
, there was a plunge of 10%
Possible spelling mistake found.
ar
Possible spelling mistake found.
Stearmead
College. Figures stagnated in the following year.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Howewer
, there were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
significantly
in the final year. Figures continued increasing
remarkably
at
Possible spelling mistake found.
Dovehouse
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School
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Highfield
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Academy
, while there was a negligible rise at
Possible spelling mistake found.
Starmead
College. At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period, proportions increased almost 2. 5 times at both
Possible spelling mistake found.
Dovehouse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Highfield
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Academy
.
However
, it dropped below 30% at
Possible spelling mistake found.
Starmead
College.

To sum up, the line graph illustrates that the
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percentage
of students who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
for higher or
further
education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
an
overall
increase between 2008 and 2012 except one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
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IELTS academic The line graph shows the proportion of school leavers from three schools in the same town who went on to higher or further education between 2008 and 2012.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
235 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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