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The line graph shows the channel one news viewing figures per day in one year.

The line graph shows the channel one news viewing figures per day in one year. LrA36
The line graph compares the number of viewers per day in millions between January and December of channel one news in the given year. Overall, it is clear that there was a significant difference in watching news at various time intervals. With the exception of 1 p. m. news, all the other news bulletins showed fluctuations in the news watchers. In January, approximately 5 million of viewers watched 6pm news, which was the highest figure compared with about 3 million of audiences chosen 9: 30 pm news. However, the count of spectators remained stable at 1. 3 million on 1pm news from January to December. While the 11pm news bulletin was introduced on 1st May which gained instant popularity starting with under 0. 5 million people watching it. Further analyzing the graph, the number of viewers of 11 pm news increased sharply to reach the peak at 4 million in august followed by sudden drop to 0. 9 million at the end of the year. Whereas the figure for 9: 30 pm news followed a steadily increasing trend in the starting months of the year which then decreased significantly from May to August and noted at 1 million which was the least value, however a recovery was noticed till end of the term. The 6pm news witnessed a fluctuating trend in terms of news watchers during whole time period at just over 3 million viewers in December.
The line graph compares the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
viewers
per day in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
between January and December of channel one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
year.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that there was a significant difference in watching
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news
at various time intervals.
Consider using "except" or "except for"
With the exception of
1 p. m.
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news
, all the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
bulletins
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
fluctuations in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
watchers.

In January, approximately 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
viewers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
6pm
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news
, which was the highest figure compared with about 3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
of audiences chosen 9: 30 pm
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
.
However
, the count of spectators remained stable at 1. 3
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million
on 1pm
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
from January to December.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
the 11pm
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
bulletin
was introduced
on 1st May which gained instant popularity starting with under 0. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
watching it.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Further
analyzing the graph, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
viewers
of 11 pm
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
increased
sharply
to reach the peak at 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in
The month "August" needs to be capitalized.
august
followed by sudden drop to 0. 9
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the year. Whereas the figure for 9: 30 pm
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
followed a
steadily
increasing trend in the starting months of the year which then decreased
significantly
from May to August and noted at 1
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
which was the least value,
however
a recovery
was noticed
till
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the term. The 6pm
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
witnessed a fluctuating trend in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
watchers during whole time period at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
viewers
in December.
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IELTS academic The line graph shows the channel one news viewing figures per day in one year.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
237 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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