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Academic task 1 line graph

Academic task 1 line graph BJ5Wa
The graph shows the number of visitors to four international museums between 1980 and 2015. The given line graph provides information about how many people visited four international museums namely, Louvre, Vatican Museums, London Science Museum, and Shenzhen Museum, from 1980 to 2015. Over all, it is clear that Louvre museum was the most popular choice throughout the given period with Vatican Museums a close second. On the contrary, London Science Museum was the least popular choice of people. Regarding Louvre Museum, in 1980, around 8 million people visited this museum. This figure experienced a gradual increase until 1995 reaching to about 9 million visitors, followed by a slight dip for the next five years and then started growing steadily, reaching a peak of 9. 8 million visitors in 2015. The second most famous choice was Vatican Museums. Around 5 million people visited this museum in 1980. It then saw a dramatic rise and by the end of the time frame, the visitors number was about 8. 9 million. In terms of London Science Museum, 4 million people visited this museum in 1980. This number remained unchanged for the next five years and then started to decline. By the end of 2015, only just above 2 million selected this museum and became last popular choice. The Shenzhen Museum had the lowest number of visitors in 1980(just under 4 million people). It, then, showed a downward trend until 2000, meanwhile between 1990 and 2000 the figure was relatively same as that of the London Science Museum visitors. The former then surpassed the latter and from 2000, it experienced a constant growth and reached to about 4 million visitors, which is same as of 1980's figure
The graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
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visitors
to four international
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museums
between 1980 and 2015. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
line graph provides information about how
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many
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people
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visited
four international
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museums
namely
, Louvre, Vatican
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Museums
, London
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Science
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Museum
, and Shenzhen
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Museum
, from 1980 to 2015. Over all, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that Louvre
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museum
was the most popular
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choice
throughout the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period with Vatican
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Museums
a close second.
On the contrary
, London
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Science
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Museum
was the least popular
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choice
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Regarding Louvre
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Museum
, in 1980, around 8
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million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
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visited
this
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museum
. This figure experienced a gradual increase until 1995 reaching to about 9
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
, followed by a slight dip for the
next
five years and then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
growing
steadily
, reaching a peak of 9. 8
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million
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visitors
in 2015. The second most
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famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
was Vatican
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Museums
. Around 5
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million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visited
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
in 1980. It then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a dramatic rise and by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the time frame, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
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number
was about 8. 9 million.

In terms of London
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Science
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Museum
, 4
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million
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people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visited
this
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museum
in 1980. This
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number
remained unchanged for the
next
five years and then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to decline. By the
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end
of 2015,
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only
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just
above 2
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million
selected this
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museum
and became last popular
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choice
. The Shenzhen
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Museum
had the lowest
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number
of
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visitors
in 1980(
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people)
. It, then,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a downward trend until 2000, meanwhile between 1990 and 2000 the figure was
relatively
same as that of the London
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
. The former then surpassed the latter and from 2000, it experienced a constant growth and reached to about 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
, which is same as of
Apostrophes aren't needed for decades: "1980s".
1980's
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
figure
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IELTS academic Academic task 1 line graph

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
283 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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