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The graph below gives information about the preferred leisure activities of Australian children.

The graph below gives information about the preferred leisure activities of Australian children. 7RyA
The bar graph gives information about the free time activities of Australian boys and girls between the ages of 5-14 years. Overall, the most extra ordinary among the adolescents was watching television or videos and the least preferred was the skateboarding or rollerblading. According to the graph, randomly some of boys and girls were asked of their hobbies so most of them were fascinated in watching television or video. Furthermore, round about 75% to 81% of boys had favored the bike riding and electronics or computer games in contrast the girls were less interested in these activities as compared to the boys which was almost 58 percent and 60 percent respectively. Arts and crafts were most famous among the Australian girls which were approximately 10% more than the ratio of boys. Among the kids rollerblading was the lest cherished spare time activity but still this activity was mesmerized to boys which was 40% and this activity was also not well-known in girls free time(22%).
The bar graph gives information about the free time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
of Australian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
between the ages of 5-14 years.

Overall
, the most
This word is normally spelled as one.
extra ordinary
among the adolescents was watching television or videos and the least preferred was the skateboarding or rollerblading.

According to the graph,
randomly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
were asked
of their hobbies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
most of them
were fascinated
in watching television or video.

Furthermore
, round about 75% to 81% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
had favored the bike riding and electronics or computer games
in contrast
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
were less interested in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
as compared to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
which was almost 58 percent and 60 percent
respectively
. Arts and crafts were most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
among the Australian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
which were approximately 10% more than the ratio of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
. Among the kids rollerblading was the lest cherished spare time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
was mesmerized
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
which was 40% and this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
was
also
not well-known in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
free time(22%).
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IELTS academic The graph below gives information about the preferred leisure activities of Australian children.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
164 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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