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The line graph shows different crime areas in newport between 2003 and 2012

The line graph shows different crime areas in newport between 2003 and 2012 g5mDL
The line graph illustrates the variation of the different areas of crime namely burglary, car theft and robbery in Newport city during a decade namely 2003 and 2012 Overall, it is clearly seen that the figures of car theft and robbery had been experienced upward and downward trends during this period, however the proportion of burglary was expected a rapid decline. With regards to, the number of incidents in the burglary and robbery started up approximately 3400 and 700 respectively. During the next two years the robbery boomed gradually to almost 800 in 2005, meanwhile the amount of car theft declined slowly to 2450 in 2005. Interestingly, the both of car theft and robbery fluctuated until the end, then the car theft peaked up almost 2800 incidents, however the robbery had the same result in 2012 compared to the proportion of 2002. Despite the fact that, the burglary began the highest trend, however it had decreased gradually from 2003 to 2008 it declined from about 3400 to almost 1300. And also until the end it experienced upward trend, if it considered from 2008, it was almost 1400 in 2012 respectively
The line graph illustrates the variation of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
areas of crime
namely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
burglary
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
theft
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
robbery
in Newport city during a decade
namely
2003 and 2012

Overall
, it is
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the figures of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
theft
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
robbery
had
been experienced
upward and downward trends during this period,
however
the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
burglary
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
a rapid decline.

Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
With regards to
, the number of incidents in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
burglary
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
robbery
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
up approximately 3400 and 700
respectively
. During the
next
two years the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
robbery
boomed
gradually
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
almost
800 in 2005, meanwhile the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
theft
declined
slowly
to 2450 in 2005.
Interestingly
, the both of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
theft
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
robbery
fluctuated until the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
theft
peaked up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
almost
2800 incidents,
however
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
robbery
had the same result in 2012 compared to the proportion of 2002.

Despite the fact that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
burglary
began the highest trend,
however
it had decreased
gradually
from 2003 to 2008 it declined from about 3400 to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
almost
1300. And
also
until the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
it experienced upward trend, if it considered from 2008, it was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
almost
1400 in 2012
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
respectively
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IELTS academic The line graph shows different crime areas in newport between 2003 and 2012

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
189 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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