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The chart shows amount of young people active in leisure time

The chart shows amount of young people active in leisure time 6xnlx
The bar chart illustrates the activities that 5 to 14 year-olds in Australia spend their leisure time on. It is clear from the chart that all of young people spend their free time for watching TV or videos. There is a noticeable difference between the percentages of boys and girls who participate in the electronic and computer, about 60 per cent of girls devote the leisure time to use the computers or electronic gadgets while this applies to 8 in 10 boys. There is a similar difference between the percentages of active young people to outdoor activities. Almost 3 quarters of boys ride a bike, this for young women is only 60 per cent of girls. And 2 in 5 boys spend the leisure time on skateboarding and rollerblading, only one-third of girls spend time on. However, about over a half of girls active on the design working which is the high percentage compared to boys. The fact that the girls generally spend 10 per cent less time on average on the outdoor activities than boys. And for indoor activities boys active in their leisure time same and less than girls on watching TV and Art, respectively.
The bar chart illustrates the
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activities
that 5 to 14 year-olds in Australia
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spend
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the chart that all of young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for watching TV or videos. There is a noticeable difference between the percentages of
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boys
and
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girls
who participate in the electronic and computer, about 60 per cent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "devotes"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'devote' is not always incorrect.)
devote
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the computers or electronic gadgets while this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
applies to
8 in 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
. There is a similar difference between the percentages of active young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to outdoor
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activities
. Almost 3 quarters of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
ride a bike, this for young women is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
60 per cent of
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girls
. And 2 in 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on skateboarding and rollerblading,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one-third of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on.
However
, about over a half of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
active on the design working which is the high percentage compared to boys.

The fact that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
generally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
10 per cent less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on average on the outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
. And for indoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
active in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
same and less than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
on watching TV and Art,
respectively
.
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IELTS academic The chart shows amount of young people active in leisure time

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
197 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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