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The line graph show the radio and television audience in the UK during the whole day in 1992.

The line graph show the radio and television audience in the UK during the whole day in 1992. bYweg
The proportion of citizen in the United kingdom who watches and listen the radio and TV during the whole day illustrate by line graph between October to December in 1992. To start with given do, there was less than a tenth percentage of people preferred the two media in early morning time and it has experienced almost constant until 5 a. m. While after 6 a. m. radio audiences rate was sharply increase and hit at around 25 percentage. While, during afternoon to midnight the proportion of radio fonders was show fluctuation and it reached near about 5 percentage at 12 p. m. Moving further to the rest of the description, the UK resident had less interest for watching television during the morning time that recorded less than 5 percentage. Whereas at1 p. m. , it exceeding the ratio of radio audience. The percentage of television founder's for rapid surge at the 5 p. m. that was accounted by approximately a two fifth. However, at the night time it was sharply decreased and reached at almost 15 % at midnight. Overall, it is observed that at the morning time majority of UK people interested for listening radio while at the afternoon to evening people mostly liked to watching television.
The proportion of citizen in the
The proper noun "United Kingdom" needs to be capitalized.
United kingdom
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watches
and listen the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
and TV during the whole day illustrate by line graph between October to December in 1992. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
do, there was less than a tenth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
preferred the two media in early morning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and it has experienced almost constant until 5 a. m. While after 6 a. m.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
audiences rate was
sharply
increase and hit at around 25
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
. While, during afternoon to midnight the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
Possible spelling mistake found.
fonders
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
fluctuation and it reached near about 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
at 12 p. m. Moving
further
to the rest of the description, the UK resident had less interest for watching television during the morning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
that recorded less than 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
. Whereas at1 p. m.
Loose punctuation mark.
,
Did you mean "it's exceeding", "it is exceeding", or "it was exceeding"?
it exceeding
the ratio of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
audience. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of television founder's for rapid surge at the 5 p. m. that
was accounted
by approximately a two fifth.
However
, at the night
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
it was
sharply
decreased and reached at almost 15 % at midnight.
Overall
, it
is observed
that at the morning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
majority of UK
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
The usual collocation for "interested" is "in" not "for". Did you mean "interested in"?
interested for
listening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
while at the afternoon to evening
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
mostly
liked to watching television.
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IELTS academic The line graph show the radio and television audience in the UK during the whole day in 1992.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
209 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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