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The line graph represents the data of overseas students and local graduates enrolled in Australian universities over a decade starting from 1989 ranging up to 1999.

The line graph represents the data of overseas students and local graduates enrolled in Australian universities over a decade starting from 1989 ranging up to 1999. yGx5l
The line graph represents the data of overseas students and local graduates enrolled in Australian universities over a decade starting from 1989 ranging up to 1999. To begin with, nearly 10000 overseas students were commencing out of total enrollment of 20000 in year 1989. Both the number of commencing student and total student kept on increasing over a period of ten years. In 1999, the amount of student starting education was just above 40000. Moreover, the total enrollment was double of commencing students in year 1999. Additionally, in 1989, the regional students beginning study in Australian universities were about 180000. Same year there were total 400000 local students. The amount of student enrolling in course peaked in year 1990-91 then it showed fluctuation and by end of 1999 it was just above 200000. However, the number of total enrolments of local student kept on increasing steadily till year 1996 and then flattened at 600000 up-to 1999. Overall, it can be seen that the proportion of overseas students starting their education in Australian universities and total enrollments is increased from 1989 to 1999.
The line graph represents the data of overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and local graduates enrolled in Australian universities over a decade starting from 1989 ranging up to 1999.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
nearly
10000 overseas
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students
were commencing out of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
enrollment of 20000 in
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year
1989. Both the number of commencing
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student
and
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total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
on increasing over a period of ten years. In 1999, the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
starting education was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above 40000.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
enrollment was double of commencing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1999.

Additionally
, in 1989, the regional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
beginning study in Australian universities were about 180000. Same
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year
there were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
400000 local
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students
. The amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
enrolling in course peaked in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1990-91 then it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
fluctuation and by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of 1999 it was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above 200000.
However
, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
Possible spelling mistake. 'enrolments' is British English.
enrolments
of local
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student
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
on increasing
steadily
till
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year
1996 and then flattened at 600000 up-to 1999.

Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the proportion of overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
starting their education in Australian universities and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
enrollments
is increased
from 1989 to 1999.
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IELTS academic The line graph represents the data of overseas students and local graduates enrolled in Australian universities over a decade starting from 1989 ranging up to 1999.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
182 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
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    Present relevant ideas
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