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The line graph represent the data of supply and Quantity demanded for steel in million tones. Whereas, the second graph shows the data about the labor employed during this period in UK.

The line graph represent the data of supply and Quantity demanded for steel in million tones. Whereas, the second graph shows the data about the labor employed during this period in UK. rN02
Overall, the production of steel supplied, demanded and labor employed show the downward trend during the year 2010 In January, Quantity demanded has started from 2000 millions of tones, rise up to 4000 between January and April. After that it has fluctuation till end of August and then reached to its lowest point to zero in early December, before it reached to 200 tones at the end of the period. As compare to quantity produce, most of the time it is twice as quantity demanded of steel. Started from 4000 tones, reach to the highest point of 5000 between August and December before a sharp decrease to less than 1000 in December. Moreover, the graph of labor shows that labor employed at the starting of the year 5000, which again rise up to 6000 in the end of the January before it faced the decline to almost 3000 at the starting of April. Between April to August it has fluctuation and rose to more than 3000 in the month of August before it sharply decline to 1000 at the end of the period. .
Overall
, the production of steel supplied, demanded and labor employed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the downward trend during the year 2010

In January, Quantity demanded has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
from
Use a singular form of the numeral here: "2000 million".
2000 millions of
tones, rise up to 4000 between January and April. After that it has fluctuation till
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
end
of August and then reached to its lowest point to zero in early December,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
it reached to 200 tones at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
end
of the period. As compare to quantity produce, most of the time it is twice as quantity demanded of steel.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Started
from 4000 tones, reach to the highest point of 5000 between August and December
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
a sharp decrease to less than 1000 in December.

Moreover
, the graph of labor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that labor employed at the starting of the year 5000, which again rise up to 6000 in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
end
of the January
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
it faced the decline to almost 3000 at the starting of April. Between April to August it has fluctuation and rose to more than 3000 in the month of August
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
it
sharply
decline to 1000 at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
end
of the period.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.

IELTS academic The line graph represent the data of supply and Quantity demanded for steel in million tones. Whereas, the second graph shows the data about the labor employed during this period in UK.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
184 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 6.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.0
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Task Achievement: 5.5
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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