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The line graph illustrates the quantity of wheat exports during 1985 to 1990 by Australia,Canada and European community

The line graph illustrates the quantity of wheat exports during 1985 to 1990 by Australia, Canada and European community 7kWy
To begin with, in 1985 in Australia 15 million tonnes wheat exported. Further, the wheat exported a little increase was more than 15 million tonnes by Australia during 1986. After that, this figure followed decline trend and the end of the given period wheat exported was more than 10 million tonnes by Australia. Moreover, the wheat exported was less than 20 million tonnes by Canada in 1985. After that, the count of wheat exported drop gradually was more than 15 million tonnes in 1986. Further, this figure increase rapidly was 25 million tonnes in 1988. Followed by, the wheat exported decline gradually was less than 15 million tonnes during 1989. Moreover, the amount of wheat exported rose slightly was less than 20 million tonnes in 1990 by Canada. Probing further, in European community more than 15 million tonnes wheat exported in 1985. Further, the amount of wheat exported decrease dramatically was about less than 15 million tonnes in 1986. However, this figure remain steady in 1988. After that, more than 20 million tonnes wheat exported by European community during 1990. In conclusion, starting time the wheat exported by three countries was same but the end of given period the highest wheat exported by European community.
To
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begin
with, in 1985 in Australia 15
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million
tonnes
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wheat
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exported
.
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Further
, the
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wheat
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exported
a
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little
increase was more than 15
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million
tonnes by Australia during 1986. After that, this figure followed decline trend and the
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end
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period
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wheat
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exported
was more than 10
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million
tonnes by Australia.
Moreover
, the
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wheat
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exported
was
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less
than 20
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million
tonnes by Canada in 1985. After that, the count of
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wheat
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exported
drop
gradually
was more than 15
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million
tonnes in 1986.
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Further
, this figure increase
rapidly
was 25
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million
tonnes in 1988. Followed by, the
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wheat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exported
decline
gradually
was
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less
than 15
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million
tonnes during 1989.
Moreover
, the amount of
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wheat
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exported
rose
slightly
was
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less
than 20
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million
tonnes in 1990 by Canada. Probing
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further
, in European community more than 15
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million
tonnes
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wheat
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exported
in 1985.
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Further
, the amount of
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wheat
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exported
decrease
dramatically
was about
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less
than 15
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million
tonnes in 1986.
However
,
The verb 'remain' is plural. Did you mean: "this figure remains"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
this figure remain
steady in 1988. After that, more than 20
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million
tonnes
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wheat
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exported
by European community during 1990.
In conclusion
, starting time the
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wheat
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exported
by three countries was same
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
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end
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wheat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exported
by European community.

IELTS academic The line graph illustrates the quantity of wheat exports during 1985 to 1990 by Australia, Canada and European community

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
205 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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