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the diagram below shows how instant noodles are manufactured .

the diagram below shows how instant noodles are manufactured. 3JLl

Some interesting data concerning instant noodles production, are revealed in the graph below. The most significant fact is that the whole process, from the storage to the finished product, is completed in 8 steps, among which one regard the flour transportation, four the noodles preparation, only one the cooking process and two the cups packaging. Moving to a more detailed analysis, the flour, that is stored into silos, is then moved to the facory where, after being mixed with water and oil, is shaped in dough sheets and it undergoes to rollers processing. After this first steps, the dough is cut into strips that are lately grouped in noodles discs. It begins at this point the cooking process, for which is used oil, and that is later followed by the drying step. Finally, the cooked noodles are placed in cups and, before having the cups labelled and sealed, vegetables and spices are added.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
Some
 interesting data concerning instant You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcoconut
noodles
 production, are revealed
 in the graph below. The most significant fact is that the whole process, from the storage to the finished product, is completed
 in 8 steps, among which one regard the flour transportation, four the Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "noodles'" or "noodle's"?noodles'noodle's
noodles
 preparation, This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :exclusively
only
 one the cooking process and two the cups packaging.

Moving to a more detailed analysis, the flour, that is stored
 into silos, is then This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :relocated
moved
 to the Possible spelling mistake found.factory
facory
 where, after being mixed
 with water and oil, is shaped
 in dough sheets and it undergoes to rollers processing. After this first
 steps, the dough is This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :minimize
cut
 into strips that are lately grouped in You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcoconut
noodles
 discs.

It This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :initiatescommences
begins
 at this point the cooking process, for which is This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :exploited
used
 oil, and that is
 later followed by the drying step. Finally
, the cooked You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcoconut
noodles
are placed
 in cups and, This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:previouslyprior to
before
 having the cups labelled and sealed, vegetables and spices are This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :accrued
added
. 

IELTS academic the diagram below shows how instant noodles are manufactured.

Academic

American English

3 paragraphs

153 words

6.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
?
One main idea per paragraph
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Include an introduction and conclusion
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Support main points with an explanation and then an example
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical Resource: 5.5

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 6.5

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 5.5

Answer all parts of the question
?
Present relevant ideas
Fully explain these ideas
?
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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