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The line graph illustrates the proportion New Zealand population growth based on four different age groups between 1950 and 2050.

The line graph illustrates the proportion New Zealand population growth based on four different age groups between 1950 and 2050. dMlX
The line graph illustrates the proportion New Zealand population growth based on four different age groups between 1950 and 2050. Overall, it is clear that the percentage of people from 15-34 years old is by far the highest over the period shown. The proportion of elderly people over 65 is lowest by 2030 and predicted to rise until 2050. In 1950, over 30% of New Zealand citizens fell into 15-34 group, followed by 28% of that was 0-to 14-years-olds. By contrast, only 15% of New Zealand population belonged to 35-to 64-years-old group, and the smallest figure - 10% of the population growth was seen in the group of the senior over 65. From 2030 to 2050, the percentage of New Zealand citizens aged from 15-34 and 0-14 are expected to go down to 29% and 10% respectively in 2050. While the proportion of 35-64 year old people will continue to rise significantly and peak at about 34%, and the percentage of the elderly over 65 is predicted to increase gradually to around 15% in the year 2050.
The line graph illustrates the proportion
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New
Zealand population growth based on four
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different
age
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groups
between 1950 and 2050.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from 15-34 years
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old
is by far the highest
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over
the period shown. The proportion of elderly
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people
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over
65 is
A determiner is probably missing here: "the lowest".
lowest
by 2030 and predicted to rise until 2050.

In 1950,
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over
30% of
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New
Zealand citizens fell into 15-34
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group
, followed by 28% of that was 0-to 14-years-olds. By contrast,
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only
15% of
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New
Zealand population belonged to 35-to 64-years-
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old
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group
, and the smallest figure
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
10% of the population growth was
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seen
in the
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group
of the senior
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over
65.

From 2030 to 2050, the percentage of
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New
Zealand citizens aged from 15-34 and 0-14 are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to go down to 29% and 10%
respectively
in 2050. While the proportion of 35-64 year
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old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will continue to rise
significantly
and peak at about 34%, and the percentage of the elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
65
is predicted
to increase
gradually
to around 15% in the year 2050.
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IELTS academic The line graph illustrates the proportion New Zealand population growth based on four different age groups between 1950 and 2050.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
177 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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