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The line graph illustrates the percentage of people in the UK eating vegetables per day. Summarise and make comparison to the relevant

The line graph illustrates the percentage of people in the UK eating vegetables per day. Summarise and make comparison to the relevant nxRrK
The line graph gives information about the proportion of people in the UK consuming more than five portions of vegetables per day from 2011 to 2017. Overall, although the percentage of women eating vegetables per day experienced a fluctuation, it was higher than those of men together with children while those of children consuming vegetables remained stable for six years. As can be seen, the proportion of women eating vegetables per day remained stable at 20% in the first two years, before going up by 15% in 2016. Following this was a marginal dip in the women's percentage to 30% in 2017, which was 4% more than the figure of men in the period aforementioned. In addition, after the proportion of men consuming vegetables moderately climbed to roughly 25% in 2015, there was a fluctuation in this figure from 2016 to 2017. In 2016, this figure dwindled slightly and then reached its climax at about 26% in 2017. On the other hand, children consumed less vegetables per day than both women and men. Despite a modest increase by 4% in the first year, the percentage of children consuming vegetables witnessed a stability from 2012 to 2017. It slightly increased in 2014 and 2015, after a slowly decrease in 2013 then finally reached the peak at 15% in 2017.
The line graph gives information about the proportion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the UK consuming more than five

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
portions
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vegetables
per day from 2011 to 2017.

Overall
, although the percentage of women eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vegetables
per day experienced a fluctuation, it was

higher than those of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
together with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
while those of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
consuming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vegetables
remained

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
stable
for six years.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, the proportion of women eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vegetables
per day remained stable at 20% in the
first


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
two
years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
going up by 15% in 2016. Following this was a marginal dip in the women's
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
percentage


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
30% in 2017, which was 4% more than the figure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
in the period aforementioned.
In addition
,

after the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
consuming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vegetables
moderately
climbed to roughly 25% in 2015, there

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
was
a fluctuation in this figure from 2016 to 2017. In 2016, this figure dwindled
slightly
and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
then


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
reached
its climax at about 26% in 2017.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
consumed
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun vegetables is countable.
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vegetables
per day than both women and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
. Despite
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
a


modest increase by 4% in the
first
year, the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
consuming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vegetables
witnessed a

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
stability
from 2012 to 2017. It
slightly
increased in 2014 and 2015, after a
You used an adverb ('slowly') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('decrease') instead of another adjective.
slowly decrease
in 2013
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
then


Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
finally
reached the peak at 15% in 2017.
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IELTS academic The line graph illustrates the percentage of people in the UK eating vegetables per day. Summarise and make comparison to the relevant

Academic
  American English
15 paragraphs
218 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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