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The line graph illustrates information about the percentage of people who were employed in three disparate economic sectors in the UK, over a decade between 2000 and 2010.

The line graph illustrates information about the percentage of people who were employed in three disparate economic sectors in the UK, over a decade between 2000 and 2010. EqO9B
The line graph illustrates information about the percentage of people who were employed in three disparate economic sectors in the UK, over a decade between 2000 and 2010. Overall, it can be seen that figures witnessed upward trends for the public and self-employment sectors, whereas that for the private sector got a dramatic decline. Another noticeable point is that the number of people who employed in the private sector had its peak in 2000, but the number of workers in the public sector was higher than those in the others in 2010. To begin with, as regards the employment rate in the public sector, the employment proportion started at nearly 40% in 2000. Having remained stable in the first two years, it then fluctuated to just under 50% in 2005 and 45% in 2006, respectively. Following that, the number of workers in the public sector went up rapidly to approximately 52%, reaching its peak in a decade. Looking at the figure for people in the self-employed sector, the trend was similar. Having fluctuated around 20% for half of the decade, the rate then rocketed to 28% in 2008. Subsequently, it kept leveling off at 30% until 2010. On the contrary, the number of people who were employed in the private area hit the highest point at nearly 50% in 2000, but it went on the opposite path. It dropped sharply from around 48% to just over 40% in the first two years after a year being stable. In the next six years, it continued decreasing dramatically until 2010 when the number of people who worked in the private sector reached the percentage of 20%.
The line graph illustrates information about the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
were employed
in three disparate economic
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sectors
in the UK, over a decade between 2000 and 2010.

Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that figures witnessed upward trends for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
and self-employment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
, whereas that for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a dramatic decline. Another noticeable point is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
employed in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
had its peak in 2000,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of workers in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
was higher than those in the others in 2010.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, as regards the employment rate in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
, the employment proportion
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at
nearly
40% in 2000. Having remained stable in the
first
two years, it then fluctuated to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 50% in 2005 and 45% in 2006,
respectively
. Following that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of workers in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
went up
rapidly
to approximately 52%, reaching its peak in a decade. Looking at the figure for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the self-employed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
, the trend was similar. Having fluctuated around 20% for half of the decade, the rate then rocketed to 28% in 2008.
Subsequently
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
leveling off at 30% until 2010.

On the contrary
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
were employed
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
area hit the highest point at
nearly
50% in 2000,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it went on the opposite path. It dropped
sharply
from around 48% to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 40% in the
first
two years after a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
being stable. In the
next
six years, it continued decreasing
dramatically
until 2010 when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
worked in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
reached the percentage of 20%.
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IELTS academic The line graph illustrates information about the percentage of people who were employed in three disparate economic sectors in the UK, over a decade between 2000 and 2010.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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