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The line graph gives information about the Burnaby Public Library between 2011 and 2013 and explains the number of books read by males and females over the given period.

The line graph gives information about the Burnaby Public Library between 2011 and 2013 and explains the number of books read by males and females over the given period. Qp2y
The line graph gives information about the Burnaby Public Library between 2011 and 2013 and explains the number of books read by males and females over the given period. Overall, the figure of books read by males showed an upward trend over the time, while females increased until 2013 then declined. hence the number of males readers were lower than female readers until 2013, and later it skyrocketed and was more than females in 2014. As can be seen from the graph, the figure of males started with over 2000 in 2011, then rose slightly till 2012, after that boomed dramatically in 2013 with approximately 10000 and at this point it became equal with females, furthermore surges to 14000 in 2014. On the other hand, females readers in 2011 were roughly double the figure of males. it had a gradual growth until 2013. however, in 2014 the number fell to 8000.
The line graph gives information about the
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Burnaby
Public Library between 2011 and 2013 and
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explains
the number of books read by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
and
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females
over the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period.

Overall
, the figure of books
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "reads"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'read' is not always incorrect.)
read
by
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males
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
an upward trend over the time, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
increased until 2013 then declined.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
hence
the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
readers were lower than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
readers until 2013, and later it skyrocketed and was more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
in 2014.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the graph, the figure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
with over 2000 in 2011, then rose
slightly
till 2012, after that boomed
dramatically
in 2013 with approximately 10000 and at this point it became equal with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
,
furthermore
surges to 14000 in 2014.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
readers in 2011 were roughly double the figure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
had a gradual growth until 2013.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
however
, in 2014 the number fell to 8000.
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IELTS academic The line graph gives information about the Burnaby Public Library between 2011 and 2013 and explains the number of books read by males and females over the given period.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
151 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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