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The line graph gave information about the figure for lookups to Music Choice and Pop Parade from day 1 to day 15

The line graph gave information about the figure for lookups to Music Choice and Pop Parade from day 1 to day 15 jD3ma
The line graph gave information about the figure for lookups to Music Choice and Pop Parade from day 1 to day 15 General statement: It is clear that the quantity of lookups of Pop Parade was almost always higher than that of Music Choice. The data of Pop Parade almost remained stable at 120, 000 from day 1st to day 3rd before witnessing a considerable fall of 55, 000 over the next 2 days. There were significant fluctuations from day 5 to day 9 in the figure for the pop parade followed by a sharp increase from around 40. 000 to 160. 000 between day 9 to day 11. However, the number of lookups decreased moderatebly to 80, 000 on day 13 before rising dramatically. It reached a peak of around 180, 000 on day 15. Meanwhile, the data of music Choice fluctuated around 35, 000s from day 1 to day 4. There was a slight increase from 20. 000 to about 30, 000 over 2 days before moderate fluctuations again between day 6 and day 11. However, the figure for visits to Music Choice experienced a sharp rise of 100, 000 in just a day and reached the highest point of 120. 000. Last, there was a downward trend in the number of lookups of Music Choice. Specifically the statistics of visits decreased significantly from 120. 000 to roughly 80. 000 between day 12 and day 15.
The line graph gave information about the figure for lookups to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Choice
and Pop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parade
from day 1 to day 15

General statement: It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the quantity of lookups of Pop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parade
was almost always higher than that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
Choice.

The data of Pop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parade
almost remained stable at 120, 000 from day 1st to day 3rd
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
witnessing a considerable fall of 55, 000 over the
next
2 days.

There were significant fluctuations from day 5 to day 9 in the figure for the pop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parade
followed by a sharp increase from around 40. 000 to 160. 000 between day 9 to day 11.

However
, the number of lookups decreased
Possible spelling mistake found.
moderatebly
to 80, 000 on day 13
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
rising
dramatically
. It reached a peak of around 180, 000 on day 15.

Meanwhile, the data of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Choice
fluctuated around 35, 000s from day 1 to day 4. There was a slight increase from 20. 000 to about 30, 000 over 2 days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
moderate fluctuations again between day 6 and day 11.
However
, the figure for visits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Choice
experienced a sharp rise of 100, 000 in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a day and reached the highest point of 120. 000. Last, there was a downward trend in the number of lookups of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Choice
.
Specifically
the statistics of visits decreased
significantly
from 120. 000 to roughly 80. 000 between day 12 and day 15.

IELTS academic The line graph gave information about the figure for lookups to Music Choice and Pop Parade from day 1 to day 15

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
238 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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