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science and technology, especially the internet, have been more developed and used more and more widely

science and technology, especially the internet, have been more developed and used more and more widely nxW9K
In recent years, science and technology, especially the internet, have been more developed and used more and more widely because of many reasons. First, just having a device with an internet connection, people can access social networking sites such as Zalo, Facebook, Youtube… easily and quickly. Thanks to internet, social network users can update news rapidly and share and connect to friends around the world. In addition, during the current pandemic, most activities have been moved to operate online because of social distancing. For example, everyone stays at home and goes to the market online so as to meet their daily needs and people can play games online in order to entertain. With such changes to the way activities are organized, safety in the community is secured. Clearly, the Internet is extremely important to people to adapt to current life.
In recent years, science and technology,
especially
the internet, have been more developed and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
more and more
widely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons.

First
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
having a device with an internet connection,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can access social networking sites such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Zalo
, Facebook,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Youtube
…
easily
and
quickly
. Thanks to internet, social network users can update news
rapidly
and share and connect to friends around the world.

In addition
, during the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
pandemic, most activities have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to operate online
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of social distancing.
For example
, everyone stays at home and goes to the market online
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their daily needs and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can play games online in order to entertain. With such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
to the way activities
are organized
, safety in the community
is secured
.

Clearly
, the Internet is
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to adapt to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
life.
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IELTS academic science and technology, especially the internet, have been more developed and used more and more widely

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
140 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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