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The line graph compares usage of daily electricity between winter and summer by hours, while the pie graph illustrates consumption of electricity by house tools. A glance at the graphs reveal that the most of demand is in the winter. Not suprisingly, the heating rooms and water cover the mass majority of the consumption.

The line graph compares usage of daily electricity between winter and summer by hours, while the pie graph illustrates consumption of electricity by house tools. A glance at the graphs reveal that the most of demand is in the winter. Not suprisingly, the heating rooms and water cover the mass majority of the consumption. kYLgO
The line graph compares usage of daily electricity between winter and summer by hours, while the pie graph illustrates consumption of electricity by house tools. A glance at the graphs reveal that the most of demand is in the winter. Not surprisingly, the heating rooms and water occur the mass majority of the consumption. Firstly, as it can be seen in first graph revealed that the hourly demand for electricity stand at the over 30. 000 units in winter. During the day, the usage decrease at the 9: 00 am. The highest amount of the unit peaks over the 40. 000 between 9: 00 pm and 00. 00. Secondly, in the summer, the usage, lower than winter and drew a same line. According to pie graph, there is much amount electricity use for heating. Sequentially, the kitchen tools, media tools and the cleaning are by %17. 5, 15 and 15. The heating tools consume more electricity than the others.
The line
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graph
compares usage of daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
winter
and summer by hours, while the pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graph
illustrates consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tools
. A glance at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graphs
reveal that the
Consider using "most demand" or "most of the demand".
most of demand
is in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
winter
. Not
surprisingly
, the heating rooms and water occur the mass majority of the consumption.

Firstly
, as it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graph
revealed that the hourly demand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
stand at the over 30. 000 units in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
winter
. During the day, the usage decrease at the 9: 00 am. The highest amount of the unit peaks over the 40. 000 between 9: 00 pm and 00. 00.
Secondly
, in the summer, the usage, lower than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
winter
and drew a same line.

According to pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graph
, there is much amount
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for heating.
Sequentially
, the kitchen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tools
, media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tools
and the cleaning are by %17. 5, 15 and 15. The heating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tools
consume more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
than the others.

IELTS academic The line graph compares usage of daily electricity between winter and summer by hours, while the pie graph illustrates consumption of electricity by house tools. A glance at the graphs reveal that the most of demand is in the winter. Not suprisingly, the heating rooms and water cover the mass majority of the consumption.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
159 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • The line graph compares usage of daily electricity between winter and summer by hours, while the pie graph illustrates consumption of electricity by house tools. A glance at the graphs reveal that the most of demand is in the winter. Not suprisingly, the heating rooms and water cover the mass majority of the consumption.