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The line graph below shows the number of serious crimes that occurred in London between 2003 and 2012.

The line graph below shows the number of serious crimes that occurred in London between 2003 and 2012. mndr
The line chart displays the total number of criminal cases happened in Britain over the period between 2003 and 2012. Overall, Armed theft almost reached a peak in a year, but it shows a fluctuation trend over a time frame. It was the second most case type involved. Physical harming shows an upward trend over the due course, it was the highest compared with other committed at the end of the period. The assassination was the least involved in criminal activity. Firstly, theft was a major part of the crime that occurred in London during the 2003-04 period, it almost reached the peak. During the next 5 years, there is a gradual downfall trend. In the upcoming 5 years a slight increase to around 1500. At the Beginning of 2003, Physical assault was around 2250 but, over the next 9 years, there is a fluctuation. In the year 2012, it was the most involvement in criminal cases toaround 2750 cases. It was the major convicted case by the people of London. Secondly, Assassination was the least involved activity during the period. In the year 2003, it was 500 cases registered. Gradually there is a constant trend followed in this criminal cased activity. In 2012 it was around 750 cases registered. It was the Third most people involved in a criminal offence.
The line chart displays the total number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
cases

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
happened
in Britain over the period between 2003 and 2012.

Overall
, Armed theft almost reached a peak in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
a fluctuation trend over a time frame. It was the second most

case type involved. Physical harming
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
an upward trend

over the due course, it was the highest compared with other committed at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period. The assassination was the least involved in criminal

activity.

Firstly
, theft was a major part of the crime that occurred in London

during the 2003-04 period, it almost reached the peak. During the

next
5 years, there is a gradual downfall trend. In the upcoming 5 years a slight increase to around 1500. At the Beginning of 2003, Physical assault

was around 2250
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, over the
next
9 years, there is a fluctuation.

In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2012, it was the most involvement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
cases
Possible spelling mistake found.
toaround
2750 cases. It was the
Make sure that the adjective 'major' is correct. Possibly, it should be an adverb (typically ~ly) that modifies 'convicted'. Possibly, it should be the first word in a compound adjective (hyphenated adjective). Possibly, it is correct.
major convicted
case by

the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of London.

Secondly
, Assassination was the least involved activity during the

period. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2003, it was 500 cases registered.
Gradually
there

is a constant trend followed in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
cased activity. In
The comma is probably missing here: "2012, it".
2012 it


was around 750 cases registered. It was the Third most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people


involved in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
.
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IELTS academic The line graph below shows the number of serious crimes that occurred in London between 2003 and 2012.

Academic
  American English
6 paragraphs
221 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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