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the line graph below shows changes in the amount and type of fast food consumed by Australian teenagers from 1975 to 2000

the line graph below shows changes in the amount and type of fast food consumed by Australian teenagers from 1975 to 2000 K8P1
The line graph illustrates the Australian teenagers who consumed three varieties of fast foods from the year 1975 to 2000. Initially, adolescents who ate pizza was almost three times in that period, moreover there has been a slight difference with hamburgers, but the consumption of fish and chips accounts 100 times the year which was the popular snack eaten by most teenagers. However, following years indicates that children desired the predilection over for hamburgers and pizza whereas the consumption has augmented significantly till the start of 20th century. While in the period of 1985, the fish and chips as well as the hamburgers intersected at 90 times the year. Similarly, the puberty who has eaten pizza, fish, and chips meets the same rate. In general the teenagers seems to abominate the fish and chips where the graph has dropped almost 60 times over the 15 years.
The line graph illustrates the Australian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
who consumed three varieties of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
foods from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1975 to 2000.
Initially
, adolescents who ate pizza was almost three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
in that period,
moreover
there has been a slight difference with hamburgers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the consumption of fish and chips accounts 100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
which was the popular snack eaten by most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
.
However
, following years indicates that children desired the predilection over for hamburgers and pizza whereas the consumption has augmented
significantly
till the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
of 20th century.

While in the period of 1985, the fish and chips
as well
as the hamburgers intersected at 90
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
Similarly
, the puberty who has eaten pizza, fish, and chips meets the same rate.
In general
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
seems to abominate the fish and chips where the graph has dropped almost 60
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
over the 15 years.
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IELTS academic the line graph below shows changes in the amount and type of fast food consumed by Australian teenagers from 1975 to 2000

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
146 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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