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This given graph shows that use of internet among male and female in Canada 2000

This given graph shows that use of internet among male and female in Canada 2000 qjGX
The given bar graph compares the percentage of males and females, of 15-24 age group, who used the Internet for various purposes in Canada in 2000. It is manifest from the graph that the least percentage of both genders used the Internet for research and education. It is clear from the graph that the maximum number of men used the Internet for goods and services (71%). The second most popular use among the males was for sending e-mails (70%). A slightly higher percentage of women (71%) used the Internet for e-mails. However, a significantly lesser percentage (61%) of women used the Internet for goods and services. Chat rooms were almost equally popular among both genders with 50% males and 48% females using the internet for this purpose respectively. Online shopping was more popular among women. 38% women used the net for this purpose and only 28% men used the Internet for online shopping. Games were slightly more popular among males (64%) than females (58%). Research and education was the least popular activity among both men and women. 9% women and 13 % men used the Internet for this purpose. Overall, it can be seen that women were ahead of men in using the internet for e-mailing and online shopping. In all other given activities, males superseded women.
The
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given
bar graph compares the
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percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
and females, of 15-24 age group, who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the Internet for various purposes in Canada in 2000. It is manifest from the graph that the least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of both genders
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the Internet for research and education.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the graph that the maximum number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the Internet for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services (71%). The second most
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popular
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
among the
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males
was for sending e-mails (70%). A
slightly
higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
(71%)
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the Internet for e-mails.
However
, a
significantly
lesser
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
(61%) of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the Internet for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services.

Chat rooms were almost
equally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
among both genders with 50%
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males
and 48% females using the internet for this purpose
respectively
. Online shopping was more
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popular
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
. 38%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the net for this purpose and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
28%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the Internet for online shopping.

Games were
slightly
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
(64%) than females (58%). Research and education was the least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
activity among both
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men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
. 9%
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women
and 13 %
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the Internet for this purpose.

Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
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women
were ahead of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
in using the internet for e-mailing and online shopping. In all other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
activities,
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males
superseded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
.
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IELTS academic This given graph shows that use of internet among male and female in Canada 2000

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
217 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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