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The graph below shows the way in men and women use internet in Canada in 2000

The graph below shows the way in men and women use internet in Canada in 2000 2BNj
The given bar graph illustrates the proportion of male and females in 15 to 24 of age, who use internet for various purpose in Canada in of 2000. Upar bhai it manifests from the graph that women were at high position than the mail in using of internet for sending email and online shopping. In other four categories men wear head of women. It is clear from the graph that maximum number of night usually among men in goods and services 71%. While over a half of women utilised for this purpose. The second most popularity among A man was sending email 70%. These ratio was light increased among women 71%. Research and Education was least famus among both gender 9% women and 13% man use internet for this purpose. Chat rooms were equally popular among both gender with 50% Mel and 49% female user for this purpose. Online shopping was more popular among the women which was 38 % however only 28% man use the net for online shopping stop proportion game was 54% among men and 58% among women.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar graph illustrates the proportion of male and females in 15 to 24 of age, who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
internet for various purpose in Canada in of 2000.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Upar
Possible spelling mistake found.
bhai
it manifests from the graph that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
were at high position than the mail in using of internet for sending email and online shopping. In other four categories
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
wear head of women.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the graph that maximum number of night
usually
among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services 71%. While over a half of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
for this purpose. The second most popularity among A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
was sending email 70%.
Did you mean "this ratio" or "These ratios"?
These ratio
was light increased among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
71%. Research and Education was least
Possible spelling mistake found.
famus
among both gender 9%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
and 13%
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
internet for this purpose.

Chat rooms were
equally
popular among both gender with 50% Mel and 49% female user for this purpose. Online shopping was more popular among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
which was 38 %
however
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
28%
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the net for online shopping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
proportion game was 54% among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and 58% among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
.
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IELTS academic The graph below shows the way in men and women use internet in Canada in 2000

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
181 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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