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The line graph below illustrates the differences between ownership of electricity

The line graph below illustrates the differences between ownership of electricity LbW11
The line graph below illustrates the differences between ownership of electricity and amount of time spent doing household chores per week in a nation from 1920 to 2019. Overall, vacuum cleaner ranks the first among these applicants in 2019 while the hours people spent doing housework in this year is lowest. It is apparent that, the washing machines at 40%, climbed to 70% by 1960, then fell slightly, and recovered to finish the period at just above 70% which is the lowest proportion in 2019 among two appliances. Beside that, vacuum cleaners raised significantly from 30% to 90% in 1920 and 1980 and it had the same percentage with the washing machines in 1960 with 70% which was lower than refrigerator (90%). However, this machine increased to 100% in 2019 and became the machine that got the highest using in this year while the refrigerator ended in 2000 with 100%.
The line graph below illustrates the differences between ownership of electricity and amount of time spent doing household chores per week in a nation from 1920 to 2019.
Overall
, vacuum cleaner ranks the
first
among these applicants in 2019 while the hours
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
spent doing housework in this year is lowest.

It is apparent that, the washing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
at 40%, climbed to 70% by 1960, then fell
slightly
, and recovered to finish the period at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above 70% which is the lowest proportion in 2019 among two appliances. Beside that, vacuum cleaners raised
significantly
from 30% to 90% in 1920 and 1980 and it had the same percentage with the washing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
in 1960 with 70% which was lower than refrigerator (90%).
However
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
increased to 100% in 2019 and became the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the highest using in this year while the refrigerator ended in 2000 with 100%.
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IELTS academic The line graph below illustrates the differences between ownership of electricity

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
150 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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