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The line charts give information about the demand for steel and number of workers employed in a country from January to December.

The line charts give information about the demand for steel and number of workers employed in a country from January to December. 95xYr
There are two line graphs are shown in the picture. These graphs are about the demand for steel and the number of workers employed. According to them, there is information that has to be described from January to December in dimension between 0 and 6000 million tons or thousands of workers. Looking from an overall perspective, it is readily apparent that there are two lines of an actual demand of tones and an amount of produced steel. The former line starts from 4000 in January, improves by 5000, then declines until 3000 in August and after a one more alteration finishes at 900 million tones. Draw to your attention that the actual demand starts and finishes at 2000. The number of workers employed starts from 5000 and then stably declines until 1000000 of workers. To sum up everything that has been stated so far, I would say that the line that show an amount of produced steel is similar to the second graph's line and an actual demand is less than the the amount of produced steel.
There are two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
graphs
are shown
in the picture. These graphs are about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demand
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steel
and the number of workers employed. According to them, there is information that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
from January to December in dimension between 0 and 6000 million tons or thousands of workers.

Looking from an
overall
perspective, it is
readily
apparent that there are two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lines
of an actual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demand
of tones and an amount of produced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steel
. The former
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
from 4000 in January,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
by 5000, then declines until 3000 in August and after a one more alteration finishes at 900 million tones. Draw to your attention that the actual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demand
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
and finishes at 2000. The number of workers employed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
from 5000 and then
stably
declines until 1000000 of workers.

To sum up everything that has
been stated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
far, I would say that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
an amount of produced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steel
is similar to the second graph's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
and an actual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demand
is less than
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
amount of produced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steel
.

IELTS academic The line charts give information about the demand for steel and number of workers employed in a country from January to December.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
177 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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