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The line chart shows the sale of music through streams, purchasing cd and by downloading in australia from 2011 to 2018.

The line chart shows the sale of music through streams, purchasing cd and by downloading in australia from 2011 to 2018. 6xJn0
The percentage of 3 different sources to sell the music in Australia depicts by line graph in the time period from 2011 to 2018To start with, in the first year, the music dealing through streams had percent of approximately five that in inclined and dramatically throughout the year and third proportion of 30 percentage that exceeding seeds figure in 2016. Furthermore, the music access by streams had growth by 20 % till 2018. Moving towards further information, by downloading or buying CDS music had trading of above 50 and 30 % respectively. The downloading music had to in proportion in 2015 with increment of near about 6%. After that, the downloading experience are Rapid surge and approached to 30 % in last year. Meantime, the preference to buy CD declined dramatically and remain study lower than a third proportion in last year. Overall, it is crystal clear that natives of Australia gave more priorance to streaming whilst downloading and purchasing cds was declined during last year.
The percentage of 3
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sources to sell the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
in Australia depicts by line graph in the time period from 2011 to 2018To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, in the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
dealing through streams had percent of approximately five that in inclined and
dramatically
throughout the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
and third proportion of 30 percentage that exceeding seeds figure in 2016.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
access by streams had growth by 20 % till 2018. Moving towards
further
information, by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
downloading
or buying CDS
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
had trading of above 50 and 30 %
respectively
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
downloading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
had to in proportion in 2015 with increment of near about 6%. After that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
downloading
experience are Rapid surge and approached to 30 % in last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. Meantime, the preference to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
CD declined
dramatically
and remain study lower than a third proportion in last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
Overall
, it is crystal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that natives of Australia gave more
Possible spelling mistake found.
priorance
to streaming whilst
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
downloading
and purchasing
Possible spelling mistake found.
cds
was declined
during last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
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IELTS academic The line chart shows the sale of music through streams, purchasing cd and by downloading in australia from 2011 to 2018.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
166 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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