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The line chart shows the retailing price of black and white TV, the retiling of color TV, and the average monthly salary off retailers in the Japanese market from 1953 to 1973 respectively.

The line chart shows the retailing price of black and white TV, the retiling of color TV, and the average monthly salary off retailers in the Japanese market from 1953 to 1973 respectively. XVDOA
This line graph shows, respectively, the retail prices of black and white televisions, the retail prices of color televisions, and the average monthly salary retailers in the Japanese market from 1953 to 1973. According to what is shown, the average monthly salary had started about 20 YEN in 1953. As there was an increased slightly in the Japanese average monthly salary during first five years, there was a declined considerably and black and white television from 180 YEN to 43 YEN between 1953 and 1973. Thereafter, color decreased sharply from 175 YEN to 100 YEN between 1958 and 1963 and continued fell after that. To sum up, we could say that colored television black and white television fell markedly, while the average monthly salary from 1963 to 1973 was escalated dramatically about 130 YEN.
This line graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
,
respectively
, the retail prices of black and white
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televisions
, the retail prices of color
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
televisions
, and the
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average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monthly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
retailers in the Japanese market from 1953 to 1973.

According to what
is shown
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monthly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
about 20 YEN in 1953. As there was an increased
slightly
in the Japanese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monthly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
during
first
five years, there was a declined
considerably
and black and white
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
from 180 YEN to 43 YEN between 1953 and 1973. Thereafter, color decreased
sharply
from 175 YEN to 100 YEN between 1958 and 1963 and continued fell after that.

To sum up, we could say that colored
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
black and white
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
fell
markedly
, while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monthly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
from 1963 to 1973
was escalated
dramatically
about 130 YEN.

IELTS academic The line chart shows the retailing price of black and white TV, the retiling of color TV, and the average monthly salary off retailers in the Japanese market from 1953 to 1973 respectively.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
134 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
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Lexical Resource: 6.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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