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The line chart illustrates the number of foreign tourists, who travel to UK for business, holiday and meeting friends and relatives from 1989 to 2009.

The line chart illustrates the number of foreign tourists, who travel to UK for business, holiday and meeting friends and relatives from 1989 to 2009. 7jRn
The line chart illustrates the number of foreign tourists, who travel to UK for business, holiday and meeting friends and relatives from 1989 to 2009. Overall, tourists who came to UK for vacation higher than those travel for business and meeting their friends and relatives. In 1989, visitors went to UK for holiday have the highest percentage at 6. 5 million, compared to business and meeting their families with 5 and 3. 5 million respectively. In spite of visitors traveling to UK between 1989 and 1994 were plateau, but with few fluctuations, they have increased dramatically to 9 million in 1999. Meanwhile people they travel to UK for working at 5 million in 1989, they fell to 4 in 1992 and from 1994 to 2009 have oscillation trend, in 2009 they reach with 8 million visitors and after 2009 is declined to 7 million. In contrast, people who went to UK to meet their friends and families, they rapidly increased to from 3. 5 to 7 million between 1989 and 2009, but after 2009, they have similar trend to who travelling for working, those fell to 6 million.
The line chart illustrates the number of foreign tourists,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
travel to UK for business, holiday and meeting friends and relatives from 1989 to 2009.

Overall
, tourists
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
came to UK for vacation higher than those travel for business and meeting their friends and relatives.

In 1989, visitors went to UK for holiday have the highest percentage at 6. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
, compared to business and meeting their families with 5 and 3. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
respectively
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
visitors traveling to UK between 1989 and 1994 were
Consider using a past participle here: "plateaued".
plateau
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with few fluctuations, they have increased
dramatically
to 9
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in 1999.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Meanwhile
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
they travel to UK for working at 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in 1989, they fell to 4 in 1992 and from 1994 to 2009 have oscillation trend, in 2009 they reach with 8
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
visitors and after 2009
is declined
to 7
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
.
In contrast
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
went to UK to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their friends and families, they
rapidly
increased to from 3. 5 to 7
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
between 1989 and 2009,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after 2009, they have similar trend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
travelling for working, those fell to 6
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
.
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IELTS academic The line chart illustrates the number of foreign tourists, who travel to UK for business, holiday and meeting friends and relatives from 1989 to 2009.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
188 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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