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the land of parks is wasted and shold be used for other purposes. Do you agree or disagree?

the land of parks is wasted and shold be used for other purposes. Vm2A
The table illustrates the information about independent film releasions in the United Kingom and Republic of Ireland in 2012 that are organised by genre. Overwall, the highest amount of films was prodused in Drama and Documentary genre while comedy was the most profitable in sales. To begin with, 148 films was prodused in 2012. Turning into details, about a fourth part was in documentary and drama genres for each, that means that the total presentage of all realises was 23. 6 %. In opposite, beeing the least popular genre, action, was realised in rate of 2. 7%, that is in numbers. Looking into sales column, it is clearly can be seen that leading revenue is provided by comedy genre. Although this genre is not the most realised and in 2012 was prodused only 12 films, the income from its saling is 57%. However, the lowest revenue drama films had shown which brought to its creators only 0. 5 income of film industry.
The table illustrates the information about independent film
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releasions
in the United
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kingom
and Republic of Ireland in 2012 that are
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
genre
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Overwall
, the highest amount of films was
Possible spelling mistake found.
prodused
in Drama and Documentary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
genre
while comedy was the most profitable in sales.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, 148 films was
Possible spelling mistake found.
prodused
in 2012. Turning into
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, about a fourth part was in documentary and drama genres for each, that means that the total
Possible spelling mistake found.
presentage
of all
Possible spelling mistake. 'realises' is British English.
realises
was 23. 6 %. In opposite,
Possible spelling mistake found.
beeing
the least popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
genre
, action, was
Possible spelling mistake. 'realised' is British English.
realised
in rate of 2. 7%,
that is
in numbers. Looking into sales column, it is
clearly
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that leading revenue
is provided
by comedy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
genre
. Although this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
genre
is not the most
Possible spelling mistake. 'realised' is British English.
realised
and in 2012 was
Possible spelling mistake found.
prodused
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
12 films, the income from its
Possible spelling mistake found.
saling
is 57%.
However
, the lowest revenue drama films had shown which brought to its creators
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
0. 5 income of film industry.
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IELTS academic the land of parks is wasted and shold be used for other purposes.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
162 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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