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The information provided in the bar chart is concerning changes in average accommodation prices in five diverse big cities from 1990 to 2002 compared with the average house one in 1989.

The information provided in the bar chart is concerning changes in average accommodation prices in five diverse big cities from 1990 to 2002 compared with the average house one in 1989. NMelb
The information provided in the bar chart is concerning changes in average accommodation prices in five diverse big cities from 1990 to 2002 compared with the average house one in 1989. Overall, it is manifest from the chart that in the first period, the average house prices in Madrid and Frankfurt registered upward trends whereas Tokyo was the unique city recording a decrease in the average prices. In addition, London ranked first in house prices during the given period. From 1990 to 1995, in comparison with the percentage change from 1989 prices, the figure for New York declined significantly to 5%. Followed by a fall in Tokyo and London which shared an equal figure at approximately 8%. Meanwhile, the accommodation prices in Madrid witnessed a rise to nearly 3% in comparison with 1989, after that a slight increase by 2% in Frankfurt. Between 1996 to 2002, London had the highest percentage of house prices at around 12%. Similarly, the figure for New York and Madrid climbed exactly 5% and nearly 4%, respectively while Frankfurt went up only 1% at the same time. In contrast, Tokyo was lower favored accommodation than in 1989 which dropped to precisely 5%.
The information provided in the bar chart
The verb 'concerning' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
is concerning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
accommodation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
in five diverse
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities from 1990 to 2002 compared with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
one in 1989.

Overall
, it is manifest from the chart that in the
first
period, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
in Madrid and Frankfurt registered upward trends whereas Tokyo was the unique city recording a decrease in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
.
In addition
, London ranked
first
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
during the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period.

From 1990 to 1995,
in comparison
with the percentage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
from 1989
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
, the figure for New York declined
significantly
to 5%. Followed by a fall in Tokyo and London which shared an equal figure at approximately 8%. Meanwhile, the accommodation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
in Madrid witnessed a rise to
nearly
3%
in comparison
with 1989, after that a slight increase by 2% in Frankfurt.

Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "Between 1996 and 2002".
Between 1996 to 2002
, London had the highest percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
at around 12%.
Similarly
, the figure for New York and Madrid climbed exactly 5% and
nearly
4%,
respectively
while Frankfurt went up
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
1% at the same time.
In contrast
, Tokyo was lower favored accommodation than in 1989 which dropped to
precisely
5%.
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IELTS academic The information provided in the bar chart is concerning changes in average accommodation prices in five diverse big cities from 1990 to 2002 compared with the average house one in 1989.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
197 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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