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These days, children spend a large amount of time playing computer games and doing other sedentary activities, which leads to increasing rates of childhood obesity. Discuss some of the factors that influence this problem and give potential solutions.

These days, children spend a large amount of time playing computer games and doing other sedentary activities, which leads to increasing rates of childhood obesity. Discuss some of the factors that influence this problem and give potential solutions. pJ8m3
Recently, many young people stay at home and do some of indoor activities and spend more time playing DVD games, which lead to overweight in an early stages. In my opinion there are some reasons are responsible for the high rate of the obesity, and I will suggest some solution to solve that problems. On one hand, children who spend more time inside their homes are liable to eat more fatty and sugar foods, which is the major reason of the obesity. To illustrate, lipids and sugar are easy to accumulate and storage in the skin; for example, cake is a fast type of food, which is easy to be made, and it contains high rate of sucrose and oils, which in turn increase our weight. Furthermore, staying at home leads to increasing sleeping hours, which slow the catabolism rate and increase the anabolism rate. On the other hand, there are two main solutions to solve these problems. Firstly, eating several types of meals that contain high level of antioxidants and vitamins which are essential in fighting obesity. For example, people who eat more fruits and vegetables are healthier than those who eat less amount of that food. Secondly, increasing the outdoor activity can reduce the sleeping hours, which can improve our mental health. For example, running, swimming enhance and arrange our biological hours to prevent us to become obese. To conclude, teenagers face variety of issues, which contribute to be obese, such as eating high amounts of calories through their meals and lack of their physical activities. In my view, these problems are not insurmountable and they are their parents' responsibility to tackle these issues by considering some of solutions which proposed above.
Recently,
many
young
people
stay at home and do
some
of indoor activities and spend more time playing DVD games, which lead to overweight in an early stages. In my opinion there are
some
reasons are responsible for the
high
rate of the obesity, and I will suggest
some
solution to solve that problems.

On one hand, children who spend more time inside their homes are liable to eat more fatty and sugar foods, which is the major reason of the obesity. To illustrate, lipids and sugar are easy to accumulate and storage in the skin;
for example
, cake is a
fast
type of food, which is easy to
be made
, and it contains
high
rate of sucrose and oils, which in turn increase our weight.
Furthermore
, staying at home leads to increasing sleeping hours, which slow the catabolism rate and increase the anabolism rate.

On the other hand
, there are two main solutions to solve these problems.
Firstly
, eating several types of meals that contain
high
level of antioxidants and vitamins which are essential in fighting obesity.
For example
,
people
who eat more fruits and vegetables are healthier than those who eat less amount of that food.
Secondly
, increasing the outdoor activity can
reduce
the sleeping hours, which can
improve
our mental health.
For example
, running, swimming enhance and arrange our biological hours to
prevent
us to become obese.

To conclude
,
teenagers
face variety of issues, which contribute to be obese, such as eating
high
amounts of calories through their meals and lack of their physical activities. In my view, these problems are not
insurmountable and
they are their parents' responsibility to tackle these issues by considering
some of solutions
which proposed above.
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IELTS academic These days, children spend a large amount of time playing computer games and doing other sedentary activities, which leads to increasing rates of childhood obesity. Discuss some of the factors that influence this problem and give potential solutions.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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