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The images show how is changed in some years the features of a mobile phone. The differences between Early mobile phone and contemporary mobile phone are various, firstly, the early mobile phone was composed of one block on the contrary the new contemporary mobile phone is made by two parts one for the display and ear phone while another for keyboard and extra functions. Furthermore, in a contemporary mobile phone, there is a full-colour display while in an early mobile phone there was black/white display. The contemporary mobile phone has a new design and obvious has got less weight for 80g and is shorter than an early mobile phone. It is clear that one of the main difference is the keyboard, in the past, it was composed only by number while on the contemporary mobile phone it is possible to find many new functions for instance: email, internet music player... Finally, probably, the newest function that there wasn't on the early mobile phone is the camera with video capability.

The images show how is changed in some years the features of a mobile phone. The differences between Early mobile phone and contemporary mobile phone are various, firstly, the early mobile phone was composed of one block on the contrary the new contemporary mobile phone is made by two parts one for the display and ear phone while another for keyboard and extra functions. Furthermore, in a contemporary mobile phone, there is a full-colour display while in an early mobile phone there was black/white display. The contemporary mobile phone has a new design and obvious has got less weight for 80g and is shorter than an early mobile phone. It is clear that one of the main difference is the keyboard, in the past, it was composed only by number while on the contemporary mobile phone it is possible to find many new functions for instance: email, internet music player. . . Finally, probably, the newest function that there wasn't on the early mobile phone is the camera with video capability. EW2M
The images show how is changed in some years the features of a mobile phone. The differences between Early mobile phone and contemporary mobile phone are various, firstly, the early mobile phone was composed of one block on the contrary the new contemporary mobile phone is made by two parts one for the display and ear phone while another for keyboard and extra functions. Furthermore, in a contemporary mobile phone, there is a full-colour display while in an early mobile phone there was black/white display. The contemporary mobile phone has a new design and obvious has got less weight for 80g and is shorter than an early mobile phone. It is clear that one of the main difference is the keyboard, in the past, it was composed only by number while on the contemporary mobile phone it is possible to find many new functions for instance: email, internet music player. . . Finally, probably, the newest function that there wasn't on the early mobile phone is the camera with video capability.
The images
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show
how is
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changed
in
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some
years the features of a mobile
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phone
. The differences between
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Early
mobile
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phone
and
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contemporary
mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
are various,
firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
was composed
of one block
on the contrary
the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contemporary
mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
is made
by two parts one for the display and ear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
while another for keyboard and extra functions.

Furthermore
, in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contemporary
mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
, there is a
Possible spelling mistake found.
full-colour
display while in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
there was black/white display.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contemporary
mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
has a new design and obvious has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
less weight for 80g and is shorter than an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
mobile phone.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that one of the main difference is the keyboard, in the past, it
was composed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by number while on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contemporary
mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
it is possible to find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
new functions
for instance
: email, internet music player.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.


Finally
,
probably
, the newest function that there wasn't on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
is the camera with video capability.
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IELTS academic The images show how is changed in some years the features of a mobile phone. The differences between Early mobile phone and contemporary mobile phone are various, firstly, the early mobile phone was composed of one block on the contrary the new contemporary mobile phone is made by two parts one for the display and ear phone while another for keyboard and extra functions. Furthermore, in a contemporary mobile phone, there is a full-colour display while in an early mobile phone there was black/white display. The contemporary mobile phone has a new design and obvious has got less weight for 80g and is shorter than an early mobile phone. It is clear that one of the main difference is the keyboard, in the past, it was composed only by number while on the contemporary mobile phone it is possible to find many new functions for instance: email, internet music player. . . Finally, probably, the newest function that there wasn't on the early mobile phone is the camera with video capability.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
171 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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  • The images show how is changed in some years the features of a mobile phone. The differences between Early mobile phone and contemporary mobile phone are various, firstly, the early mobile phone was composed of one block on the contrary the new contemporary mobile phone is made by two parts one for the display and ear phone while another for keyboard and extra functions. Furthermore, in a contemporary mobile phone, there is a full-colour display while in an early mobile phone there was black/white display. The contemporary mobile phone has a new design and obvious has got less weight for 80g and is shorter than an early mobile phone. It is clear that one of the main difference is the keyboard, in the past, it was composed only by number while on the contemporary mobile phone it is possible to find many new functions for instance: email, internet music player... Finally, probably, the newest function that there wasn't on the early mobile phone is the camera with video capability.