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The illustration shows the process of canning pears

The illustration shows the process of canning pears K3Wa1
The diagram illustrates how canned pears are produced. As can be seen, there are 14 stages that take place, starting with picking the pears and ending with sending the final product to stores. In the initial stages of the process, the pears are picked by hand before being taken to a factory where they undergo two treatments. The first treatment is when the pears are washed then checked to ensure that they are of suitable quality. After this, the pears that pass the quality control stage are kept in cold storage until they are ready to be canned. The pears are first weighed and given a grade before they are peeled. Next the pears are sliced into smaller pieces. After the pears have been put in the can, they are sealed. Following this, the pears in the cans are cooked and sterilized. Once this has been done, the cans are placed in storage once they. have been labelled. The final stage, the completed product can be dispatched to stores to be sold. This concludes the process of canning pears.
The diagram illustrates how canned pears
are produced
. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
can
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, there are 14
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stages
that take place, starting with picking the pears and ending with sending the final product to stores.

In the initial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stages
of the process, the pears
are picked
by hand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
being taken
to a factory where they undergo two treatments. The
first
treatment is when the pears
are washed
then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checked
to ensure that they are of suitable quality. After this, the pears that pass the quality control
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stage
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
storage until they are ready to
be canned
.

The pears are
first
weighed and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a grade
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they
are peeled
.
Next
the pears
are sliced
into smaller pieces. After the pears have
been put
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
can
, they
are sealed
. Following this, the pears in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cans
are cooked
and sterilized. Once this has
been done
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cans
are placed
in storage once they.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
have
been labelled
. The final
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stage
, the completed product
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
can
be dispatched
to stores to
be sold
. This concludes the process of canning pears.

IELTS academic The illustration shows the process of canning pears

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
179 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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