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The grass Bylaugh so the number of hours Canadian spent on watching TV from 1992 2000.

The grass Bylaugh so the number of hours Canadian spent on watching TV from 1992 2000. 1oXyX
The given column graphs illustrates that, the number of highest hours per week spent on watching TV and average hours of TV viewing per week by age in 1991–2000 According to graph that, there were highest hours spent on watching TV in week in 1919 which was around 23 hours. Moreover, there could be observed decrease rate in next three years and came at 22 hours and 30 minutes in year 1994. After the some fluctuation rate were decline and came at 22 hours in 2001. Which were lower than other given years. As per the graph that, there were above 60 years people viewing TV highest as compare to other age-group was approx 31 hours per week. Apart from that, age group of 50 to 59 and 35 to 49 were watching accordingly approx 25 and 20 hours per week respectively. Which were slightly similar to 2 to 17 age group children. However, youngsters who were came in 18 to 34 age group were seen TV only 15 hours per week. All in all, it could be clear that, there were 60+ humans watch TV more than other age groups and highest ratio shown in 1991.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
column graphs illustrates that, the number of
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
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hours
per
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week
spent on watching TV and average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
of TV viewing per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
by
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age
in 1991–2000

According to graph that, there were
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
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hours
spent on watching TV in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
in 1919 which was around 23
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
.
Moreover
, there could
be observed
decrease rate in
next
three years and came at 22
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hours
and 30 minutes in year 1994. After the
Did you mean "same"?
some
fluctuation rate
Did you mean "where" or "we"?
were
decline and came at 22
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hours
in 2001.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
were lower than other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
years.

As per the graph that, there were above 60 years
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
viewing TV highest as compare to other age-group was approx 31
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
. Apart from that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of 50 to 59 and 35 to 49 were watching
accordingly
approx 25 and 20
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
respectively
.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
were
slightly
similar to 2 to 17
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age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
children.
However
, youngsters who were
Consider using a past participle here: "come".
came
in 18 to 34
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
15
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
per week.

All in all, it could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that, there were 60+ humans
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV more than other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
and highest ratio shown in 1991.
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IELTS academic The grass Bylaugh so the number of hours Canadian spent on watching TV from 1992 2000.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
197 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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