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diagram illustrating floors in a skyscraper

diagram illustrating floors in a skyscraper gbPL3
The diagram illustrates the various usage destinations of the 160 floors of the world-famous skyscraper Burj in Dubai. According to the illustration, seven of them can be identified. First, parkings are situated in the basement. Second, floors 1 to 39 are assigned to a private hotel, in particular the highest two for suites. Next, the central part of the high-rise building is for residential apartments. Then, floors 122 to 124 house tourist attractions, such as an observatory and a restaurant. Next, corporate suites can be found in the upperly-located portion of the skyscraper. Then, floors 156 to 159 are assigned to communications and broadcast. Finally, mechanical facilities can be found in the basement and in the highest floor.
The diagram illustrates the various usage destinations of the 160
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
floors
of the world-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
skyscraper
Possible spelling mistake found.
Burj
in Dubai.

According to the illustration, seven of them can
be identified
.

First
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
parkings
are situated
in the basement.

Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
floors
1 to 39
are assigned
to a private hotel,
in particular
the highest two for suites.

Next
, the central part of the high-rise building is for residential apartments.

Then,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
floors
122 to 124
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
tourist attractions, such as an observatory and a restaurant.

Next
, corporate suites can
be found
in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
upperly-located
portion of the skyscraper.

Then,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
floors
156 to 159
are assigned
to communications and broadcast.

Finally
, mechanical facilities can
be found
in the basement and in the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
floor
.
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IELTS academic diagram illustrating floors in a skyscraper

Academic
  American English
9 paragraphs
118 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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