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The graphs below show the types of music albums purchased by people in Britain according to sex and age.

The graphs below show the types of music albums purchased by people in Britain according to sex and age. XGEaq
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of people (both male and female) including their age group who buy pop music. Overall, more men purchases pop music albums than women. While the group of youth prefers to listen and such buys this genre of music, for the elderly, it shows downward trends. However, the significant share of transactions is made by the different youth groups and the group which buys the most is 25 to 34 whereas the least is above 45. Given a close look at the data, it can be seen that pop music is more with men than women, and as such almost 28% of males purchase this category of music album. On the contrary, the number is almost 10% less for females who buy pop music albums. On the other hand, group 25-34 purchased three times (about 32%) of the group above 45, who have only 10%. The rest two groups 16-24 and 35-44 also contribute to the major share of buying and their numbers are 30% and 25% respectively.
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
(both male and female) including their age
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group
who
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buy
pop music.

Overall
, more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
pop
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music
albums than women. While the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of youth prefers to listen and such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buys
this genre of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, for the elderly, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
downward trends.
However
, the significant share of transactions
is made
by the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
youth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buys
the most is 25 to 34 whereas the least is above 45.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
a close look at the data, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that pop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is more with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
than women, and as such almost 28% of males
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
this category of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
album.
On the contrary
, the number is almost 10% less for females who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
pop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
albums.

On the other hand
,
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group
25-34
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
three times (about 32%) of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
above 45, who have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
10%. The rest two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
16-24 and 35-44
also
contribute to the major share of buying and their numbers are 30% and 25%
respectively
.
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IELTS academic The graphs below show the types of music albums purchased by people in Britain according to sex and age.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
173 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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