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The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period. AjJEL
In these graphs are represented the enorlments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities in a period of ten years. Overall, it's easy to see that local student are much more than overseas students. Indeed, the number of freshman who come from out Australia it's less than 20000 in 2001 and reach a maximum of 80000 students at the first year. While, local students reach a number of enrolments of 600000 in 2010. In every graphs there arte two lines. One for describe the number of student at the first year in commercing, and one for describe the total enrolments to 2001 from 2010. The lines of total and commercing overseas students increas every year, except in 2009 for commercing students. On the contrary, the two lines forlocal student are not the same trend. The total of students grows erery year still half to 2006, that remains costant to 600000 students. Instead the commercing students have a costant trend to 200000 students.
In these graphs
are represented
the
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enorlments
of overseas
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students
and local
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students
in Australian universities in a period of ten years.
Overall
, it's easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
are much more than overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Indeed
, the number of freshman who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from out Australia it's less than 20000 in 2001 and reach a maximum of 80000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
at the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
, local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
reach a number of
Possible spelling mistake. 'enrolments' is British English.
enrolments
of 600000 in 2010. In every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "graph"?
graphs
there
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arte
two lines. One for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
at the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
commercing
, and one for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
the total
Possible spelling mistake. 'enrolments' is British English.
enrolments
to 2001 from 2010. The lines of total and
Possible spelling mistake found.
commercing
overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
Possible spelling mistake found.
increas every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, except in 2009 for
Possible spelling mistake found.
commercing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
On the contrary
, the two lines
Possible spelling mistake found.
forlocal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
are not the same trend. The total of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
grows
Possible spelling mistake found.
erery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
still
half to 2006, that remains
Possible spelling mistake found.
costant
to 600000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Instead
the
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commercing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have a
Possible spelling mistake found.
costant
trend to 200000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.

IELTS academic The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
164 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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