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The bar charts below show UK and US energy consumption in 2000 and 2006

The bar charts below show UK and US energy consumption in 2000 and 2006 2bKEo
As is shown by the bar charts illustrates about the consumption of energy in developed countries of Uk and USA in the years 2000 and 2006. It is measured in percentages. Overall, the oil which includes in consumption of energy had the highest level of consumption in USA with nearly One-third in the year 2000 and other renewable sources had the lowest level of consumption in USA with around a tiny fraction in the year of 2006. Firstly, In UK the energy consumption of coal, nuclear power and other renewable sources are gradually decreased. Compared to coal, the nuclear power and other renewable sources rates decreased with a slight fraction. On the Contrary, the coal rate is decreased around a One-fifth. Apart from these sources, the oil and gas ratio is gradually increased with around two-fifths. With regards to, In USA apart from nuclear power and other renewable sources, all the remaining sources rate levels are more which compared to the past. The gas and coal rates are increased around a less than a fifth and oil rate is increased by a tiny fraction. With the same tiny fraction the nuclear power and other renewable sources are decreased gradually
As
is shown
by the bar charts illustrates about the
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consumption
of energy in
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developed countries
of
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Uk
and USA in the years 2000 and 2006. It
is measured
in percentages.
Overall
, the oil which includes in
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consumption
of energy had the highest level of
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consumption
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
with
nearly
One-third in the year 2000 and
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other
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renewable
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sources
had the lowest level of
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consumption
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
with
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around
a tiny
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fraction
in the year of 2006.
Firstly
, In UK the energy
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consumption
of coal, nuclear
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power
and
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other
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renewable
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sources
are
gradually
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decreased
. Compared to coal, the nuclear
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power
and
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other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
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rates
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decreased
with a slight
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fraction
.
On the Contrary
, the coal
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rate
is
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decreased
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around
a One-fifth. Apart from these
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sources
, the oil and gas ratio is
gradually
increased with
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around
two-fifths.
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
With regards to
, In USA apart from nuclear
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power
and
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other
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renewable
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sources
, all the remaining
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sources
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rate
levels are more which compared to the past. The gas and coal
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rates
are increased
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around
a less than a fifth and oil
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rate
is increased
by a tiny
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fraction
. With the same tiny
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fraction
the nuclear
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power
and
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other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decreased
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
gradually
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IELTS academic The bar charts below show UK and US energy consumption in 2000 and 2006

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
198 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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