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The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period.

The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period. 03PB
These two graphs give information about the participation of foreign and native students at universities in Australia for ten years. In general, the number of total foreign student who enrolled at university in Australia is marginally above native students. The number of overseas student who apply in Australia's university is gradually increased throughout the year. While the number of local student increased and remained static. Local college student started in total of exactly 400000 students and kept increasing from year to year, and finally reached it peak at 600000 students in 2007 and remained the same amount until the end of final year. On the other hand, overseas students who came to Australia to study in college started with total of 200000 students in 2001. From 2004 the students kept increasing from year to year and reached 600000 college students in 2007. However the number jumped to 800000 students and hit its peak in 2010.
These two graphs give information about the participation of foreign and native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
at universities in Australia for ten years.

In general
, the
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number
of total foreign
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student
who enrolled at university in Australia is
marginally
above native
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students
. The
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number
of overseas
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student
who apply in Australia's university is
gradually
increased throughout the
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year
. While the
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number
of local
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student
increased and remained static.

Local college
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student
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
in total of exactly 400000
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students
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
increasing from
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year
to
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year
, and
finally
reached it peak at 600000
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students
in 2007 and remained the same amount until the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of final year.

On the other hand
, overseas
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students
who came to Australia to study in college
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
with total of 200000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in 2001. From 2004 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
increasing from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
to
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year
and reached 600000 college
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students
in 2007.
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However
the
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number
jumped to 800000
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students
and hit its peak in 2010.
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IELTS academic The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
155 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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