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the graphs below show results of a survey of college going boys and girls activities other than academic studies summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

the graphs below show results of a survey of college going boys and girls activities other than academic studies rjGn
the pie chart shows the information about the result done by a survey of college going boys and girls and activities rather than academic studies the data has been given in percentage. It is clear from the given information that the percentage of college going main student in the Surfing the internet is highest following by the percentile who are playing basketball 20% the percentage of the boys who are showing interest in Indoor activities as computer game and listening to the musing at 15% and 8% respectively the percentage of boys in football is 13% and basketball is 7% the percentile of boys in reading books and magazines is about only 3%
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
pie chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the information about the result done by a survey of college going
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and girls and activities
rather
than academic studies the data has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
information that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of college going main student in the Surfing the internet is
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
following by the percentile who are playing basketball 20% the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
who are showing interest in Indoor activities as computer game and listening to the musing at 15% and 8%
respectively
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
in football is 13% and basketball is 7% the percentile of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
in reading books and magazines is about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
3%

IELTS academic the graphs below show results of a survey of college going boys and girls activities other than academic studies

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
112 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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