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The graph below shows the use of electricity, water and gas per month at a leisure center in Manchester.

The graph below shows the use of electricity, water and gas per month at a leisure center in Manchester. OKRj
The bar graph illustrates the utilization of electricity, water and gas per month at a leisure center in Manchester. Observing the details, in January almost 4% water uses and this ratio is similar for gas usage. While more than 5% of electricity is used by the people in Manchester at pastime center. In the following five months, the consumption of water increases slightly; while, the utilization of gas at it's lower position. Only 2. 4% of gas is used at leisure center in the month of June. As well as the consumption of electricity declines in first six months. It is surprising to note that, the uses of gas and electricity followed the similar pattern during the whole year except the month of December. Moreover, in the month of August more than 5% of water uses; whereas, the utilization of electricity and gas is only between the percentage of 2 and 3. However, in the end of the year, there is a dramatic growth in the consumption of an electricity and reach at almost 5%. And the use of water and gas stand at around 4% at leisure center. Overall, it can be seen that, during the whole year, the use of water follows the fluctuation trend and by the end of the year. In Manchester at leisure center, electricity is more use than water and gas.
The bar graph illustrates the utilization of
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electricity
,
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water
and
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gas
per
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month
at a
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leisure
center in Manchester.

Observing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, in January almost 4%
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water
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uses
and this ratio is similar for
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gas
usage.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
more than 5% of
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electricity
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in Manchester at pastime center. In the following five
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
months
, the consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
increases
slightly
; while, the utilization of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
at it's lower position.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
2. 4% of
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gas
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
center in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
of June.
As well
as the consumption of
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electricity
declines in
first
six
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
months
. It is surprising to note that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uses
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
followed the similar pattern during the whole
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year
except the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
of December.

Moreover
, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
of August more than 5% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uses
; whereas, the utilization of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
between the percentage of 2 and 3.
However
, in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, there is a dramatic growth in the consumption of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
and reach at almost 5%. And the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
stand at around 4% at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
center.

Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that, during the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
follows the fluctuation trend and by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. In Manchester at
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leisure
center,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
is more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
use
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
.
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IELTS academic The graph below shows the use of electricity, water and gas per month at a leisure center in Manchester.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
227 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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