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The graphs below give information about computer ownership as a percentage of the population between 2002 and 2010, and by level of education for the years 2002 and 2010.

The graphs below give information about computer ownership as a percentage of the population between 2002 and 2010, and by level of education for the years 2002 and 2010. 2EEj
The bar graphs compare the ownership of computers by population from 2002 to 2010, and by educational level for two years 2002 and 2010. They are measured in percentages. Overall, it is clear that ownership of computers increased over the period. Moreover, no high school diploma category has the least computer ownerships whereas postgraduate qualifications have the highest. In addition, ownership of computers rose with the educational levels in both years, and it was highest in 2010 as compared to 2002. With regards to population, ownership started at under 60% in 2002, and it went up minimally after every two years; it had finished at nearly 80% by 2010. In terms of education level, people without having a high-school diploma, contributed to just under 20% in 2002 followed by a two-fold rise in 2010 at around 40%. Regarding, computer owners in high school graduates have witnessed by 40% in 2002 before it saw marginal in 2010. While people holding incomplete college education, constituted by half of the people in 2002, and it has climbed by 80% in 2010 whereas people with bachelor’s and post-graduate degree were holding a roughly similar ratio at about 70% in 2002 compared to nearly 100% in 2010.
The bar graphs compare the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
of computers by population from 2002 to 2010, and by educational level for two years 2002 and 2010. They
are measured
in percentages.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
of computers increased over the period.
Moreover
, no high school diploma category has the least computer
Possible spelling mistake found.
ownerships
whereas postgraduate qualifications have the highest.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
of computers rose with the educational levels in both years, and it was highest in 2010 as compared to 2002.

Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
With regards to
population,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at under 60% in 2002, and it went up
minimally
after every two years; it had finished at
nearly
80% by 2010. In terms of education level,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
without having a high-school diploma, contributed to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 20% in 2002 followed by a two-fold rise in 2010 at around 40%.

Regarding, computer owners in high school graduates have witnessed by 40% in 2002
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
marginal in 2010. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
holding incomplete college education, constituted by half of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in 2002, and it has climbed by 80% in 2010 whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with bachelor’s and post-graduate degree were holding a roughly similar ratio at about 70% in 2002 compared to
nearly
100% in 2010.
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IELTS academic The graphs below give information about computer ownership as a percentage of the population between 2002 and 2010, and by level of education for the years 2002 and 2010.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
202 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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